Animals: Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone...

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 045

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 6 331

By ihateseagulls - 07/04/2011 23:28 - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 665

You deserved it 4 124

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 555

You deserved it 7 958

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By joe1234 - 17/07/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 855

You deserved it 9 730

By beachbirdbait - 09/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Savannah

Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 584

You deserved it 506

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 18 158

By FeedTheBirds - 06/09/2017 22:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 501

Invaded

By somanybirds - 25/04/2017 08:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 809

You deserved it 331

By shithead - 18/09/2011 20:17 - United States

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 785

You deserved it 51 165

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 15 October 2013 9:11

They pecked your pecker?

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 15 October 2013 10:27

That's sexual harassment. Sue the birds.

Comments

thejimler 9

Tuesday 15 October 2013 12:52

I do feel sorry for you buddy, but since reading this FML I have been laughing non-stop. Actually its now 5min later after I cleaned my keyboard off after laughing so hard I puked.

Goblin182 26

Tuesday 15 October 2013 13:32

YDI. You don't fall asleep in public with friends around and not get pranked. On second thought, for get about friends. You fall asleep on the beach you will get pranked by stragers.

Golden_Rydes 3

Tuesday 15 October 2013 14:24

A beach is a totally acceptable place to fall asleep. Especially if you're just laying on your back and tanning. But, FYL, because you should be able to feel safe around your friends.