Animals and Dogs: Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this...

By Anonymous - 15/10/2018 15:33

Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this opportunity to help himself to half a gallon of vegetable oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 671

You deserved it 505

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By Sammy - 25/02/2013 07:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 208

You deserved it 4 653

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 136

You deserved it 630

By mayhemily - 21/09/2015 16:22 - Canada - Aurora

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 485

You deserved it 2 977

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 738

You deserved it 8 325

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 298

You deserved it 4 657

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 254

You deserved it 19 307

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 366

You deserved it 1 529

By girlllll - 01/06/2010 12:31 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 5 804

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 484

You deserved it 314

Wake up call

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 00:01

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 474

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 15 October 2018 13:40

His anus will be lubricated for the rest of his life.

ViviMage 39

Monday 15 October 2018 13:40

Chances are puppy will be ok, other than vomiting and diarrhea. Worse case pancreatitis can happen. Why did the puppy get in that much oil? Was the lid off the fryer??

Comments

nekojoy 5

Tuesday 16 October 2018 6:16

omg ! why, just why

fallenlikethesky 12

Tuesday 16 October 2018 7:53

My question is why was vegetable oil on a place a puppy could get to it?

alycion 38

Tuesday 16 October 2018 11:15

It took me about a day of thinking I was losing my mind to figure out mine learned to open the pantry. He could have easily gotten to something like that before I figured it out and moved stuff around. Some dogs are determined.

SaltyLurker 10

Tuesday 16 October 2018 17:44

Diarrhoea. FOR. DAYS.

crashtestdumplin 16

Thursday 21 November 2019 7:07

Dogos get into everything. My apartment complex was remodeling and I let my pup out on the patio and she came back with a cigarette butt and nail sticking out of her mouth, gave me a panic attack, I took the nail out first and then she proceeded to chew on the cigarette butt and would not let go of it.