Health: Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled...

By Anonymous - 02/10/2012 19:39 - United States - Richland

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 723

You deserved it 2 957

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 007

You deserved it 3 594

By Pottymouth - 25/07/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 034

You deserved it 24 547

By phoneless - 17/04/2012 19:23 - Jordan

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 172

You deserved it 26 233

By breakinphones - 20/02/2011 02:03 - United States

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 638

You deserved it 81 724

Smooth.

By yosmurf - 13/08/2018 23:31

Today, I finished taking a huge dump at the public restroom at the mall. When I got up to wipe, my wrist clipped my butt and knocked my brand new Apple Watch into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 1 216

By Kris - 06/12/2010 20:31 - United States

Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 156

You deserved it 29 179

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 11:04 - India

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 837

You deserved it 5 780

By ryanharp2 - 27/07/2012 05:05 - United States - Conway

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 712

You deserved it 42 992

By Paige - 26/12/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 203

You deserved it 52 261

By thesadone - 03/07/2010 06:49 - United States

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 967

You deserved it 10 764

Psych101 9

Wednesday 3 October 2012 0:00

"I fell on it?"

LlamaUprising 10

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:58

Classy.

Comments

neurodoc 1

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:04

He should have used the Find My iPhone app

kneecoalparis 3

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:07

Did they say why?

wvcheesehead 13

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:09

Finally, someone who agrees with my opinion of Apple products.

crukestal 1

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:12

Must have gotten lost using the new maps app...

NoraT_fml 6

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:14

How did it...? Infact. I don't wanna know...

neurodoc 1

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:21

It was seeking shelter from the lightning . . . . . (The connector)

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:21

Maybe your patient's pants didn't have pockets and he needed a place to put his phone.

Nochal 8

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:23

I bet it was set on vibrate...

Fuzzymonkey2013 7

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:25

Ouch

_krystallynn_ 11

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:33

i just... what? how?

hannnahmarie 14

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:35

Ouch, how is that even possible?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

The Top

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, then said, "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but… nevermind", shook his head and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 380

You deserved it 26 620

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 941

You deserved it 5 171

Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 347

Today, I’m at the age where I should be married or in a committed relationship and having kids. Instead, I’m STILL single. I haven’t had a first date or a first kiss. If any of that changes, luck and time aren’t going to be on my side because biologically I won’t be able to have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 364

Today, while I was at work, my husband threw out 50 out of my 70 T-shirts, all of my tank tops, and all but one of my sweaters. I'm not getting them back because they're burning in a bonfire in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 864

You deserved it 718

Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 7 547

Same thing different taste

Smooth.

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