Intimacy: Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend....

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 5 116

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 114

You deserved it 13 841

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 229

You deserved it 1 788

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 012

You deserved it 7 446

By Anonymous - 05/02/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 149

You deserved it 39 685

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 772

You deserved it 4 419

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 154

You deserved it 7 122

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 019

You deserved it 9 490

True love waits

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 179

You deserved it 10 420

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 043

You deserved it 5 523

burnquist764 0

Monday 2 November 2009 20:07

Don't worry about it, pressure can make things like that happen. Relax next time.

jchansfan 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 7:36

Romance is dead in your world, isn't it?

Comments

Makaloraii 0

Monday 2 November 2009 21:57

I wanna make some money, but I don't wanna get no job. I wanna get you horny, but I can't get it up. (Get it up, get it up, get it up, GET IT UP)

cr4ckb0n3f4n 0

Monday 2 November 2009 21:58

coffee? but not that puny shit that dissolves into the water, heck of a lot sugar and no milk. for the both of you.

misspeg 0

Monday 2 November 2009 22:11

the first time always sucks. too much pressure. don't worry OP. if u would have been able to get it up, guaranteed u wouldn't have lasted long anyway. and by that I mean less than a minute lol

IceCream53423 0

Monday 2 November 2009 22:12

dude ur effed

coolsteve 0

Monday 2 November 2009 22:27

ha that sucks you should have excused yourself and looked up some potn on your phone the gone back in and slapped it in there

adharkach 0

Monday 2 November 2009 22:43

You were probably both excited and nervous at the same time. That tends to affect things like yeah, erections. Take it easy, relax and don't get stressed, and you'll be back on track in no time.

coolsteve 0

Monday 2 November 2009 22:57

*****

ClownSmilely 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 0:51

try a little wine to prim the ole pump. if that doesn't work then make her go down on you and get it up herself and if all else fails.... the little blue pill works for five hours straight..... if everything fails then call me!!!

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 November 2009 6:17

Naw, it's paradoxical, but it is actually a good warm up.

omghehehe 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 6:40

awwww :) thats sweet!! believe me u will always remember ur 1st time. u might as well do it right! u will get the hang of it next time. i hope :/ yes, try cleaning ur pipes 1st. relax, breath, and take it easy!