By checkup - 15/07/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Spicy
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 310
You deserved it 5 081

Same thing different taste

Top comments

DKjazz 20

I just love the wording of this FML.

sunnyt 5

Genital warts.. still the girl of your dreams?

Comments

so the lighting must have been extraordinary for you to see this. hmmm

The moral of this story is the girl of your dreams could be the girl of many realities, so approach with caution

She's a keeper. Show her to your parents

linkinpark98 23

Why are there so many "He/She is a keeper" comments? Those are so outdated, and quite frankly, are ******* annoying. Please! Do the inter-webs a favor, and use more original comments!

51 - As much as I agree, I feel the need to point out that you have a fairly common meme as your profile picture, and a band name as your username.

linkinpark98 23

And? I happen to like Linkin Park and this meme, but I don't type annoying comments about it and throw it in other people faces.

That was kinda mean... She cant help that she has those warts.

Actually no it wasn't. She can treat those warts or not be a bitch when someone gets disgusted of them and maybe someone will like her for who she is.

Giving the benefit of the doubt, she could have gotten the warts during an encounter with a person she trusted. However, there are means of protection and even those aren't 100% effective. When you're having sexual relations with a person, there are certain scenarios that could happen. So while she might not have deserved the warts, unless she was sleeping around like crazy, she should not insult a person because they didn't want to have sex with her because of it. That's petty and cruel of her.

171, thank you. I was astounded that no one before you mentioned that you need to be mature enough to talk to each other about sexual health BEFORE any type of sex.

Glove does not protect against herpes!!! Go to the CDC site and get a little education.

And herpes have nothing to do with HPV, which is what this FML is about. But a condom still does very little to protect against warts, as well.

152- i thought HPV was cervical cancer? iv had the vaccination for it

HPV is the virus that causes genital warts, but yes, it can also cause cervical cancer, and even penile cancer. They started offering the vaccine to males a couple years ago, as well, so I went ahead and got it, too.

55, you got the basics right. For those who thought not: Some HPV strains cause genital warts, others can cause cervical cancer, and people can carry more than one strain of HPV. Condoms provide limited protection against HPV (depending somewhat on location of wart/lesion/incipient outbreak) and a LOT of protection from other (and worse) STIs/STDs. That condoms don't protect against everthing is NO excuse to not use them regularly. (Nor an excuse to use them without having "the sex talk" before any type of sex.) End of lecture.

...and this is the part where I tell *everyone* to get the vaccine (Gardasil) for HPV, which causes genital warts. Seriously, man; if you plan on ever banging, just do it. And, of course, get regular checks, and be safe and shit. Peace.

Steve95401 49

An STD is something - but it's not something that you'd want.

63- your meme is bad and you should feel bad

It's better than whatever your picture is

This fml is worded spectacularly, good job OP. as for the girl, I'd redefine "dream" if I were you.