Work: Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with...

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 651

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Same thing different taste

By kitkat3308 - 30/03/2015 05:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 122

You deserved it 2 208

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 111

You deserved it 969

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 718

You deserved it 3 679

By Da Boss - 05/10/2016 01:19 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 1 923

By Anonymous - 03/08/2010 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 12 694

By oooops - 24/01/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 746

You deserved it 36 287

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 061

You deserved it 4 628

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 05:03 - United States

Today, I started the internship of my dreams. The company has nothing for me to do, so I sit and stare at the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 112

Overly enthusiastic

By Dan the man - 08/10/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 143

Dilbert principle

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 14:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 96

Vanguard507 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 19:01

More like imagine how she feels. Just saying.

Optimus_Primerib 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 19:01

I hope she ***** your shit up you loser.

Comments

mariri9206 32

Tuesday 10 May 2016 5:41

I've read enough fanfiction to know how this is going to end up.

InfiniteSecret 20

Sunday 19 November 2017 18:15

Wow Karmas a bitch

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The Top

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 39 621

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 716

You deserved it 5 036

The Top

Today, my mom has gotten to the stage of her Alzheimer’s where every time I visit she thinks I’m a burglar, and screams and cries until I leave. My dad does his best, but I just want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 92

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 240

You deserved it 2 704

Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 242

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 884

You deserved it 6 865

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 197

You deserved it 10 022

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 307

You deserved it 8 680

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

Overly enthusiastic

Dilbert principle

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