Work: Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with...

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 651

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Same thing different taste

By kitkat3308 - 30/03/2015 05:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 122

You deserved it 2 208

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 111

You deserved it 969

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 718

You deserved it 3 679

By Da Boss - 05/10/2016 01:19 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 1 923

By Anonymous - 03/08/2010 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 12 694

By oooops - 24/01/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 746

You deserved it 36 287

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 061

You deserved it 4 628

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 05:03 - United States

Today, I started the internship of my dreams. The company has nothing for me to do, so I sit and stare at the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 112

Overly enthusiastic

By Dan the man - 08/10/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 143

Dilbert principle

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 14:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 96

Vanguard507 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 19:01

More like imagine how she feels. Just saying.

Optimus_Primerib 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 19:01

I hope she ***** your shit up you loser.

Comments

JohnnyS52 4

Monday 30 January 2012 7:07

Jackass

rachbat00 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 8:13

Small world

Gym_Toke_Lax 0

Wednesday 7 March 2012 17:28

78 kill yourself

iVolleyball 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 4:41

That's why you need to grow a pair and not stand people up.

uglycrow 5

Monday 11 June 2012 20:56

You seem very selfish and self centered..

fatcow282 8

Tuesday 18 September 2012 3:39

Carma is a bitch

LiveRS 7

Friday 19 October 2012 23:05

That's karma

coolsunshinebear 14

Tuesday 26 February 2013 19:47

Make it up to her and apologize

bdog11 6

Monday 22 April 2013 2:23

Karma be thine bitch

kayaudreyjo 10

Wednesday 4 March 2015 4:35

KARMAS A BITCH DONT **** WITH HER . (OR IN THIS CASE STAND HER UP) AHAHAHAHA YOUR LIFE IS GONNA SUCK

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I called out "for personal reasons" from work because I had to study for a major test that's taking place tomorrow. An hour later, my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously." I then got an email telling me that the test was being postponed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 4 092

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 127

You deserved it 8 547

The Top

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 356

You deserved it 36 355

Today, I couldn't leave my room because my dad was having a foursome in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 146

Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 3 801

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 058

You deserved it 8 588

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 614

You deserved it 2 131

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 162

You deserved it 23 485

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

Overly enthusiastic

Dilbert principle

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