Intimacy: Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding...

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 22:08 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 945

You deserved it 17 815

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Same thing different taste

By Kasey Eames - 23/12/2012 06:19 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 907

You deserved it 8 398

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 51 001

By Divorce? - 29/07/2017 00:30

Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 604

Still hanging on

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 06:00

Today, while having sex with my husband, he told me to put my legs around him, which I did. He then whispered sweetly in my ear, "You better hold on tight spider monkey." This is when I knew my Twilight obsession went too far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 1 538

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 573

Captain Jack

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 22:22 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 404

You deserved it 43 610

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 810

You deserved it 8 834

Lazy ass

By Anonymous - 23/04/2015 17:04 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 712

You deserved it 3 325

Get it on

By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 6 188

By bestiality? do I look like a pig? - 26/05/2013 20:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 236

You deserved it 18 352

ILoveFluttershy 3

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:53

I love you, and your husband.

Forlorn420 9

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:53

Better than butterface

Comments

spongeydude4 2

Tuesday 26 June 2012 3:52

Lol be thankful it was fluttershy and not something like rainbow dash or pinkie pie

Akazuki 26

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:06

72, Just the fact that he fantasizes about colorful ponies is disturbing. Let alone which ******* pony it is -.-

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Tuesday 26 June 2012 8:15

I bet he wants to put something in HER "Pinkie Pie". *shudder*

dellis44 7

Tuesday 26 June 2012 3:52

you asked for it! besides, you never know you might like being called "fluttershy" after tonight ;)

1030295 6

Tuesday 26 June 2012 3:56

It always could be worse

ohyeahitsalysa 4

Tuesday 26 June 2012 3:58

Lol I'm going to BroNYcon

kiddfillyy 1

Tuesday 26 June 2012 13:26

See ya there

mariah_victoria 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 16:15

Are you ******* kidding me

momowowo_fml 5

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:02

Fluttershy for the win

nillycullen 3

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:03

I wish my bf would call me fluttershy!

cutemonsterx3 6

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:06

How come the person who posts the FML never comments back to anyone? Are they not able to? O_o Lol im new to this :/

zandalee 19

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:11

No they can... I think they are either too embarrassed or have run to the hills. Would you hang around if your mans sexual fantasy was a pink pony?

cutemonsterx3 6

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:25

Lol u got a point :D but i noticed some FMLs arent too embarrassing but the person never comments back to us readers .

zandalee 19

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:38

Sometimes they do. It's rare though.

cutemonsterx3 6

Tuesday 26 June 2012 15:58

Ooh thats y lol im on a iphone xD

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:08

I want to say you deserve it but I can't stop feeling bad for you

Rokara 10

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:09

Rainbow Dash approves

zandalee 19

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:39

Great I can sleep easy now

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 26 June 2012 4:10

Brony Furries? You asked

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 714

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 390

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 8 697

You deserved it 595

Today, I was texted by a number that their "date" had given them. I replied that they'd got the wrong number. She then sent me a picture of herself and started flirting. I was suspicious about this, so I ran her photo through Google image finder. Her "photo" is apparently used by scammers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 100

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 863

You deserved it 44 274

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 2 893

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 453

You deserved it 7 367

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 955

You deserved it 2 660

Same thing different taste

Revealing

Still hanging on

Hey good lookin'

Captain Jack

Lazy ass

Get it on

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Comments