Miscellaneous: Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested...

By Anonymous - 12/08/2013 23:58 - United States

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 5 222

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Same thing different taste

By losing the plot - 08/04/2015 19:36 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 593

You deserved it 17 516

Footloose

By Imnotfromhere - 16/06/2021 10:59

Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 1 845

The key to happiness

By Luke - 25/07/2010 22:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 892

You deserved it 4 093

By me - 20/12/2010 02:26 - Bulgaria

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 5 650

By M - 23/05/2011 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 068

You deserved it 43 406

By Ugh - 02/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 198

You deserved it 4 379

By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 15:05

Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 538

You deserved it 10 618

By Anonymous - 21/02/2014 09:59 - Russian Federation - Lipetsk

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 969

You deserved it 4 117

By brandon - 10/01/2011 17:04 - Canada

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 629

You deserved it 33 373

Open up!

By nooooooooob - 05/10/2011 08:59 - United States

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 118

You deserved it 35 146

gun6slinger9 9

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:53

Well op it looks like you are also dating a doorknob

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:55

Ask him why the key to his car doesn't open others cars that are the same as his.

Comments

ImSorryImAFuckUp 6

Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:35

Lol classic mix-up. XD sorry OP maybe he is a math genius?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:46

Many keys will suit a lock but not all keys will unlock a door...the receptionist if that's a good word should have a spare...

MisterEx 28

Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:46

That's when you ask : "but honey, there are lots of guys with knobs like yours. Is it cool if I sleep with them while you are not around?"

operator47 10

Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:51

You chose him.

Sonotsuave 35

Tuesday 13 August 2013 18:22

Wooooooow

xRezSynn 15

Tuesday 13 August 2013 18:52

I seriously didn't know there were people this stupid.

sykokitti 15

Tuesday 13 August 2013 19:06

Get rid of him!

amy6703 6

Tuesday 13 August 2013 19:20

Please don't ever reproduce with this guy. Also, you should kick him in the balls in case someone else tries to reproduce with him.

KaylaTackett 18

Tuesday 13 August 2013 19:28

He's a keeper

Arkana_fml 14

Tuesday 13 August 2013 21:55

What a dumbass xD

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Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 122

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I agree, your life sucks 23 784

You deserved it 5 705

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I agree, your life sucks 2 788

You deserved it 5 108

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I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 398

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I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 251

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I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 435

Today, I lost half my friends and was kicked out of my Star Wars club, all because I said that The Acolyte is unwatchable trash. Apparently that makes me "an alt-right Trump-humper." Whatever that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 161

Same thing different taste

Footloose

The key to happiness

Open up!

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