Transportation: Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a... - FML

By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 3 556

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Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jo - 26/10/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 935

You deserved it 3 066

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 143

By Atheist - 22/03/2012 04:56 - United States - Portland

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 605

You deserved it 5 629

Jesus, take the wheel

By ThreeMoreYears - 03/03/2020 03:01

Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 236

By Username - 18/10/2010 15:52 - France

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 185

You deserved it 2 920

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 139

You deserved it 2 236

Slippery

By charliebravo77 - 09/12/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 431

You deserved it 4 408

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 146

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 157

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 42 496

Next

Top comments

MattRoseen 12

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

The power of Christ compells you!

Mahomie123 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:23

If you were looking for a sign... to stop smoking to stop using crack to go to church to see a good hooker to start using crack, and cigarettes I think you've got it.

chels1994 11

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:24

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there

ambamm135 7

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:25

May the power of Christ compel you?

gurlllno 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:28

"I saw the sign an it opened up my eyes I saw the sign!"Hahahahaha(:

jarredsj26 7

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:30

You should keep it and sell it for millions. Lmao

bad_chiquita 5

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:31

Too bad you can't sue God for damages. I mean, I really don't know. We can't ever know for sure. I'm agnostic.

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:35

Jesus loves everyone!! Except you. :)

Mayshod 3

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:36

I would love to know how this happens.

MelCristian55 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:37

Haha jesus is falling from the sky ;) Maybe hes hinting you(:

clsgators 5

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:37

Too bad your car isn't made of water..... Jesus can walk on water

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 345

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 370

You deserved it 78 491

The Top

Today, being the man of the house, I decided to work on the car. Long story short, there's a towel in my transmission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 2 284

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 226

Today, I told my dogs to go to their dog beds. The small dog went onto the big one’s bed. The big dog went onto my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 259

Noooooooo!

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 166

Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 688

You deserved it 9 244

Today, I got all the way until after lunch before I realized my new pants were basically leggings, and that you could see my pink thong through them. I was in a training with a bunch of the guys that work the production floor, and I’m pretty sure they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 483