Intimacy: Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex,... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 14:08 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 998

You deserved it 6 788

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Same thing different taste

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Spicy

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 455

You deserved it 6 327

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 6 017

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 598

You deserved it 2 811

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 748

You deserved it 42 633

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 112

You deserved it 5 919

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 274

You deserved it 77 680

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 12:00

Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 149

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 803

You deserved it 4 727

Life imitating art, or…?

By Bik - 27/06/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 411

Next

Top comments

bebe391 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:08

LMFAO

mzmiff132 1

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:09

hopefully u slapped him for that lol that's mad nasty

Comments

mybad234 0

Monday 3 May 2010 2:12

HAHAHAHAAHAH

jellybeeeeen 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 2:17

LOL, my boyfriend does that to me too, i smack him back. haha.

lemonlift 6

Saturday 15 May 2010 6:48

sorry, but deserve someone better then him. go get yourself a real man.

lunax_fml 14

Wednesday 2 June 2010 4:47

@#193; sorry, but you dont know that. that could be exactly what she deserves. only princesses get princes.

FMLcomments 0

Friday 2 July 2010 7:18

My boyfriend does that all the time :D If you have a sense of humor you'll just laugh through it. Or, be like me, and blow up the condom like a balloon XD

usmcwagner 0

Monday 20 December 2010 14:29

Hahahahahahaha love it!!!!!!!

jenn014 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 10:03

that's happened to me too!!!

jjnotantibi 2

Wednesday 23 March 2011 16:19

That sucks. . Been there

ChurroGalactico 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 1:37

I think he challenged you to a duel o.o

chevyuser 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 1:47

please say you dumped him...

jjnotantibi 2

Friday 3 June 2011 6:33

Lol my bf does that to me quite often. Sometimes i get it and slap him back, sometimes i just slap him period lol

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The Top

Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 148

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 451

You deserved it 46 014

The Top

Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 181

Today, my drug dealer was the only one who wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 601

You deserved it 6 378

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 121

You deserved it 5 038

Today, my coworkers have decided I'm a racist. Not because I started shouting racist slurs or something, but because I used to be a server, and they saw a TikTok video that said that all servers are secretly racist. Since it's on TikTok, it's obviously true, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 122

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should, "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 791

You deserved it 8 610

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 162

You deserved it 4 038