Intimacy: Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex,...

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 998

You deserved it 6 788

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Same thing different taste

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 455

You deserved it 6 327

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 6 017

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 598

You deserved it 2 811

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 748

You deserved it 42 633

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 112

You deserved it 5 919

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 274

You deserved it 77 680

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 12:00

Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 149

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 803

You deserved it 4 727

Life imitating art, or…?

By Bik - 27/06/2023 22:00

Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 411

bebe391 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:08

LMFAO

mzmiff132 1

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:09

hopefully u slapped him for that lol that's mad nasty

Comments

ChasingTheSun 2

Tuesday 4 December 2012 22:13

I would have punched him

AlmondEyes95 5

Thursday 12 December 2013 5:12

I hope you knocked the shut out of him. I certainly would have.

cwall882 1

Monday 14 April 2014 4:46

HAHAHAH omg I guess just be happy it didn't break open on your face.

derpina72 23

Friday 8 August 2014 7:15

Honestly, if this really bothers you, why didn't get to know him more before you slept with him? I'm not trying to be prude, but immaturity is pretty easy to catch.

KobeLebroJordan 17

Saturday 29 August 2015 18:31

The whole experience sounds pretty cummy. Get it, instead of crummy? No?

stellasue11 38

Friday 30 September 2016 6:39

i would have punched him in his happy sacks!!!

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I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 183

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I agree, your life sucks 30 181

You deserved it 5 036

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I agree, your life sucks 59 695

You deserved it 18 721

Today, I met a woman at a bar, and we went back to my place with her whispering many filthy things in my ear. Then my key broke inside the lock. It was 2 a.m. and freezing, and she was in a dress, I suggested a hotel, but she was now so cold and angry, she got back in our Uber which hadn't left yet and went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 341

Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 164

You deserved it 7 383

Same thing different taste

Wrong sort of poking

Life imitating art, or…?

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