Intimacy: Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex,...

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 998

You deserved it 6 788

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Same thing different taste

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 455

You deserved it 6 327

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 6 017

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 598

You deserved it 2 811

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 748

You deserved it 42 633

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 112

You deserved it 5 919

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 274

You deserved it 77 680

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 12:00

Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 149

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 803

You deserved it 4 727

Life imitating art, or…?

By Bik - 27/06/2023 22:00

Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 411

bebe391 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:08

LMFAO

mzmiff132 1

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:09

hopefully u slapped him for that lol that's mad nasty

Comments

KillU2009 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:18

latex stamp!

qr_fml 21

Monday 8 March 2010 0:20

kinky!

tktom7 6

Monday 8 March 2010 0:21

I agree with 63

chelseyD 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:25

find a new boyfriend. hopefully one with more class.

Dwight_A_R_Manag 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:26

careful. she looks 14

evilspongebob 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:31

lol this is true he would know

davjr 3

Monday 8 March 2010 0:47

your to fine

megnut1014 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:01

wow our boyfriends would be best friends!

iloveweezy 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:08

This has actually happened to me too. And the guy was four years older than me. FML.

omfg_usuckatlife 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:15

I agree. give him a BJ and spit it in his face. then break up with him cuz that's just messed up

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USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 3

Today, like a drunk idiot, I texted my ex to ask if he maybe still had feelings for me. He texted back that yes, he did still have feelings for me, but then he has a wank and the feelings all disappear down the toilet wrapped in a tissue. Not gonna lie, I cried myself to sleep clutching a bottle of Schnapps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 1 619

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Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 355

You deserved it 3 450

Today, my boyfriend and I got put on the Kiss cam at a baseball game. Instead of kissing me, he grabbed my boobs and got the biggest round of applause I have heard in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 221

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 386

You deserved it 6 348

Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 128

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 456

You deserved it 3 689

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 257

You deserved it 8 736

Same thing different taste

Wrong sort of poking

Life imitating art, or…?

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