By i have failed so very badly - 07/04/2017 18:51 - United States - Syracuse

Today, I found out our eight-year-old son lied about his former babysitter beating him. The babysitter's already thrashed us on social media for believing our son, and now no one in town is willing to babysit for us. Looks like date night is cancelled. FML
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You deserved it 7 078
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Top comments

TeacherTeacher 11

This makes a great teaching moment. Make sure your child understands the gravity of what he did and apologize to the babysitter. You should also find out why he lied. Does he want more time with you? Does he not like the babysitter because she enforces rules? A nice reading of The Boy Who Cried Wolf might be in order too. Careers have been ruined this way.

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Viewerv 2

Parents are in an impossible situation. Kids do lie and lives have been ruined when kids lied. This babysitter could have been in jail over this kids lies. I wouldn't babysit this kid again either. However, if parents don't believe kids, that can cause issues to. So many kids were abused and were not protected by parents who didn't believe them. It's a no win situation!

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Comments

brainstorm98 13

Trust but verify. Asking your son in depth and/or repeated questions about the situation is not untrusting, it's gaining an clear understanding of the situation. If he's lying, it will come out. If he's not, it's more evidence against the babysitter. The babysitter should understand your need to make sure your son is protected.

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Will Flynn 4

"Trust but verify"? Another stupid saying that is contradictory all by itself. If you trust, verifying is unnecessary. If you must verify you, therefore, do not trust. I had an HR person tell me this once and then couldn't understand why I took absolutely nothing she ever said again seriously. Words have meanings.

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adventureinthesea 14

Definitely look into why he lied. Sometimes kids who are actually being beaten will lie about who is doing it out of fear.

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Alexandria79 22

everyone is in your defense but I'm curious as to how you handled it. if you threatened her or did anything public then I side with her. too darn bad for you.

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amarie2009 22

You kid lied about being beaten by the babysitter and the only thing you care about is date night? Careers and lives have been ruined by kids lying about being beaten or being molested and you are brushing it off like it is a joke! Being beaten or molested for real is no joke, and your kid deserves an ass whooping for that. Also you need to make an apology to the babysitter. Maybe be less concerned with date night and more with raising your kid properly and teaching him about right and wrong and the consequences of lying.

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Bearsmomma 30

Maybe OP did all that and after the drama and stress of the day was looking forward to date night. Only to discover everyone is unwilling to babysit after the situation from before. There is limited space on the original FML post.

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sasquatchius 3

Good, you clearly acted unreasonably. I hope you paid the woman in full and made a full apology for your actions.

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band_geek 18

Did you even try and check to see if the kid had bruises? Because if you had, you could've taken pictures and you could've actually reported the babysitter to the police for child abuse, or just make the kid come clean out of horror that they're being checked that they were just goofing, which then would've been wise to make the kid apologize. Just because your kid tells you something happened won't always mean that they're telling the truth. You kinda deserved it if you hadn't checked your kid to make sure they were really okay before you fired your babysitter.

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Bearsmomma 30

It could've been a situation where the kid said he /she finally had the nerve to tell about something that happened weeks or months before. There would be no bruising in that case. Not all abuse will even leave marks. I would believe my kids above anyone else, but ask many probing questions for details before moving forward with confrontations and such.

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Nats4444 11

Kids lie - it's part of the learning process. And abuse allegations need to be taken seriously. Check for bruising or marks and if there are some - call the police! If not, just don't hire that babysitter again. If she's on social media telling people what you accused her of, it means you accused her. Don't confront the sitter about it with no evidence, unless you frame it in the form of "my son said this, I know kids can lie or misrepresent the truth, what is your side of the story?" And even then, you can tell the sitter you believe they did nothing wrong and JUST NOT HIRE THEM AGAIN. Then you'd avoid the deserved public shaming on social media.

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soactually 4

I'm not sure you're being fair. The thing is, as a kid whose skin never bruised, I remember how awful it is if nobody believes you because you can't show them any marks. If the child does not have a history of lies and manipulation, putting the burden of proof on them is a little twisted. Sure, in hindsight it seems obvious, but if the child had been telling the truth and the parents just politely ignored it, they'd be tacitly agreeing to the future mistreatment of other people's children.

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Taurus_ChicKa 36

Was there evidence of your son being beaten? There are always two sides to a story. I understand you wouldn't want an abuser watching your son, but geez. Did you even teach your son that lying is wrong, especially to such a degree?

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Taurus_ChicKa 36

Was there evidence of your son being beaten? There are always two sides to a story. I understand you wouldn't want an abuser watching your son, but geez. Did you even teach your son that lying is wrong, especially to such a degree?

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