Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been...

By IhateThem - 14/05/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 059

You deserved it 4 709

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Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 485

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

By assassinmaster - 04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 921

You deserved it 438

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 700

You deserved it 3 927

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 016

You deserved it 3 396

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

You deserved it 3 460

By dank meme - 11/02/2017 17:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 351

You deserved it 4 062

By SonOfaSpy - 18/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 2 673

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 798

You deserved it 3 111

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 285

GeekMaster6000 3

Saturday 14 May 2011 11:54

wow. Someone should beat some sense into that kid.

wazzup182FML 3

Saturday 14 May 2011 11:57

pick up his shit and rub it in his face!

Comments

dbt88 15

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:17

Yeah, drop your own deuces on their porch and tell them it's a subtle way of telling them you'd like them to move out.

Michigan_Girl 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:19

Haha! I love this FML =)

Madrias 36

Sunday 15 May 2011 12:24

Ah, nothing a little pack of firecrackers shot off while he's ******** won't cure.

haterz123 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 14:43

i love that show!

hml1357 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 16:29

ahh that show is amazing... but not for 9 year old kids hahahahaha

afml6 3

Sunday 15 May 2011 16:36

lol damn I loved that episode!

nujeyla 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 20:32

Ha ha, wat did u do to the poor kid?

greenorange75 8

Sunday 15 May 2011 21:49

It's just a Jersey thing...

emerluvsu 6

Monday 16 May 2011 1:50

ohhh that explains a lot.

GagaForGaga103 1

Sunday 15 May 2011 22:40

that kid watches too much tv.! :D

MrsFry 0

Monday 16 May 2011 5:38

lmfao

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Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 456

You deserved it 4 703

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 988

You deserved it 1 026

The Top

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been "single" on numerous occasions during our 9 month relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 045

You deserved it 3 596

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 560

You deserved it 4 091

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 760

You deserved it 5 211

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 312

You deserved it 5 544

Today, a street "musician" drummed on buckets directly outside my work for two hours. Right as I was about to lose it, he stopped playing. Within 5 minutes, someone else started playing the saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 327

You deserved it 1 090

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 385

You deserved it 1 048