Kids: Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one...

By Jilly - 08/08/2011 06:45 - Australia

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 101

You deserved it 5 312

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Parenting in 2021

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 19:30 - United States

Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 114

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 3 907

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 577

Fortress of solitude

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 18:00

Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 626

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 191

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 341

Grifter

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 706

You deserved it 676

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 913

You deserved it 551

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 21:19

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 024

You deserved it 2 895

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 070

You deserved it 5 043

NiceGuyz 0

Monday 8 August 2011 15:58

You should beat his disobedient ass!

Free_Candy 0

Monday 8 August 2011 16:01

It better be trident layers.

Comments

sting72157 3

Tuesday 9 August 2011 13:44

Lock him out. He'll have to go buy the key back for a whole pack.

harrison918 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:57

Your son clearly got the better end of the deal.

sandybaybe 3

Tuesday 9 August 2011 18:50

Is he really that dumb or he just doesnt give a damn bout the house and the safety of the people living in it?

addiehoney 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:47

big f-ing deal.

iFrozenSky 2

Wednesday 10 August 2011 3:00

are you stupid just change the locks =.=

Raditude 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 3:55

Make him pay to get it rekeyed, then kick him out. he probably wouldnt survive on his own for long.

That_Korean_Kid 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 4:20

Shove a key up his ass, tell him not to lose/trade this one, and get new locks.

cuddlebunny3548 11

Wednesday 10 August 2011 7:02

change the locks?

sisterOFaSLUT 5

Wednesday 10 August 2011 7:21

I'd give the world free access to his video games

chrisdiazknowsbe 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 7:26

**** that kid, make that 16 year old pay for new locks.

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The Top

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 055

You deserved it 679

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 915

You deserved it 74 266

The Top

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 470

You deserved it 7 810

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 4 083

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 3 886

Today, my dad decided to clean my 20 gallon fish tank. I had 6 fish. One of them was called a transparent fish, clear with a bright orange tail, which was my favorite. My dad didn't see it, and dumped the water out along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 913

You deserved it 3 923

Today one of my flatmates told the rest of us to stop using the toilet after 10pm cause he's a light sleeper and the flushing noise wakes him up. After arguing about it, he gave us his 'permission' to use the toilet, but only if we don't flush until the next day. Guess who is always the first to wake up? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 547

You deserved it 717

Today, I was offered my dream job. When I gave my current employer my 2+ weeks notice so they'd have time to find a replacement, I was told to pack up and leave immediately. Now I'm out a month's pay because I gave notice instead of just leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 071

You deserved it 438