Kids: Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one...

By Jilly - 08/08/2011 06:45 - Australia

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 101

You deserved it 5 312

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Parenting in 2021

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 19:30 - United States

Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 114

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 3 907

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 577

Fortress of solitude

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 18:00

Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 626

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 191

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 341

Grifter

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 706

You deserved it 676

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 913

You deserved it 551

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 21:19

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 024

You deserved it 2 895

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 070

You deserved it 5 043

NiceGuyz 0

Monday 8 August 2011 15:58

You should beat his disobedient ass!

Free_Candy 0

Monday 8 August 2011 16:01

It better be trident layers.

Comments

Bebbo_fml 21

Friday 12 August 2011 23:42

change the locks!

OsirisFaction_fml 5

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:14

Maybe you shouldn't have raised a little douchebag.

J_ride_33 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 6:30

**** that kid up lol

ottotrot 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 13:11

It could' ve been magic gum that grows into a gumstalk. You can then climb that gumstalk and reach hidden treasure.

jadejazmyn 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 7:06

change the locks don't give him a key til a half past never.

MROMRO 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 0:42

Your son is a dumb ass

Brialuvsu 7

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:38

I think it's time to change the locks...

JustJaredfied 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 20:34

Your son isn't to bright!

lh2014 7

Monday 22 August 2011 18:59

lmao change the locks and make him pay for it !

MRVOlivia 22

Sunday 28 August 2011 2:08

Can someone say LOCK CHANGE?! FYL

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The Top

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 055

You deserved it 679

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I got a speeding ticket in the mail, at the same time as my car was getting towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 210

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 334

You deserved it 5 748

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. I used to be her college professor and I’d given up my career of 22 years, my wife and kids, and my house in Boca Raton just for her. Nice to know this is the thanks I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 3 178

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 228

You deserved it 49 628

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 018

You deserved it 10 251

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 068

You deserved it 3 904