Kids: Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one...

By Jilly - 08/08/2011 06:45 - Australia

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 5 313

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Parenting in 2021

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 19:30 - United States

Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 114

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 962

You deserved it 3 907

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 577

Fortress of solitude

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 18:00

Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 627

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 192

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 342

Grifter

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 707

You deserved it 677

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 916

You deserved it 551

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 21:19

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 025

You deserved it 2 895

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 5 043

NiceGuyz 0

Monday 8 August 2011 15:58

You should beat his disobedient ass!

Free_Candy 0

Monday 8 August 2011 16:01

It better be trident layers.

Comments

spoon52 11

Monday 8 August 2011 22:45

that is way over board my mom does not care as long as i am with her

LilSideTwerk 0

Monday 8 August 2011 22:51

change the locks dumbass

Trololololololo_fml 7

Monday 8 August 2011 23:27

Change the locks. Better yet, make your son pay for new locks.

heyred 11

Tuesday 9 August 2011 0:05

Some 16 year old is paying to get a house rekeyed.

Wazilla 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 0:30

That gum better have been Trident layer

Wazilla 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 0:30

That gum better have been Trident layer

doubleodoggy 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 0:36

Oh crap

Darryn1990 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:04

Hahaha

ih82bl8 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:16

Change the locks

outsidehitter7 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:24

Congratulations. You raised an idiot.

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work You're fired Cars Kids Parenting Cats DIY Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 84

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 473

The Top

Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 108

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 339

You deserved it 3 001

Today, my best friend, who I've had a crush on for over 2 years, and who I could describe as unattainable, asked me out on a date. It went great and ended with an amazing kiss. Then she texted that she thinks she actually likes girls. She's unattainable, alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 117

You deserved it 383

Today, I left messages in every neighbors' mailbox telling them to please be quiet at 2, as my daughter was getting married in my backyard. At 2:01 someone started practicing the drums in their garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 1 226

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 591

You deserved it 4 141

Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 893

You deserved it 425