Intimacy: Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try...

By SwinginSolo - 26/03/2013 12:07 - United States

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 859

You deserved it 7 211

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 555

Nice try, Dave

By wtf Homer? - 21/04/2021 00:30

Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to initiate group sex and figured I just needed to be talked into it. I was so mad, I couldn’t throw everyone out fast enough, including him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 185

Unreasonable

By ImConfused - 29/05/2023 00:02

Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 289

By ballnchain - 30/03/2010 16:04 - United States

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 547

You deserved it 19 963

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 15:00

Today, I showed my best friend proof that her husband was sexually harassing me. Now she's refusing to talk to me, and I can't let my own husband out of my sight, for fear that he's going to murder the guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 133

Hiding something?

By Carolina - 16/08/2023 14:00

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 202

Strange dynamic

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 01:59

Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 2 319

By Irrationalwife - 31/03/2019 00:00

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 445

You deserved it 227

Puppy love

By Lovesick - 30/01/2021 01:58 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband is furious because I accused him of being in love with my best friend. He talks about her constantly, perks up like a puppy when she comes over, and occasionally only gets erections if I talk about her. Even the kids have noticed how moonstruck he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 156

By wow - 27/05/2013 16:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 266

You deserved it 3 814

LovesSushi 25

Tuesday 26 March 2013 16:05

Well that sounds healthy...

obnum 19

Tuesday 26 March 2013 16:05

...what? He sounds like a terrible person

Comments

limitedition 25

Tuesday 26 March 2013 20:48

Uh.. What more do you need to kick this ass to the curb?

acerima 11

Tuesday 26 March 2013 21:11

YDI for agreeing to allow the situation to happen in the first place.

muin 12

Tuesday 26 March 2013 21:48

Luckily, my spouse and I are equally possessive. We both would kill each other. O.o

WonkeyDonkey 10

Tuesday 26 March 2013 22:03

Sorry to hear OP! But whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Marriage is about being committed and faithful to that one special person. If he suggests swinging, then he's not committed. To then threaten that he can do it and you can't, makes him a hypocrite. If i were you, Id kick his sorry ass to the curb ;)

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Tuesday 26 March 2013 23:06

Fair and balanced? Nope

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 26 March 2013 23:55

This is one of those YDI and FYL. YDI for wanting to swing when marriage should stay between two people, if you wanted to have sex with others then you should've stayed as bf/gf. And FYL for having such an asshole for a husband. You should divorce his sorry ass...