By nofooddrinkorsex - 25/08/2019 22:05 - United States

Today, my wife and I had our brand new king-size mattress set delivered. After the delivery men left, she informed me that I was no longer allowed to eat or drink in bed. Oh yeah, and we're not having sex on it either. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 894
You deserved it 269
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Peaches1914 13

How about getting a mattress cover Or looking for some more interesting places to have relations in your home Be safe and creative

19 0

Comments

Peaches1914 13

How about getting a mattress cover Or looking for some more interesting places to have relations in your home Be safe and creative

19 0
TomatoBurning 4

Safe and creative. LmAo.

1 0
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

You aren't allowed to sleep on it either ... it's the couch for you mister

5 0
RichardPencil 30

Aw, don't worry about it -- sex is overrated. Shhh! Everybody, let's pretend that's true to make the OP feel better. We know the truth ;)

7 3
Major_Haywire 7

I remember sex 🤔

0 0
Mungolikecandy 19

You get to have kinky sex in many varied and different places other than vanilla sex in a bed. Huzzah!

3 0
Sady_Ct 37

But you can still play Marco-polo on it till you find each other and fall to the floor where you can proceed to eat and have sex right??

3 0
zoelog 10

I'm just curious as to why she can tell you what you can and can't do? ydi

6 3
BurnInDemonFire 34

Looks like the kitchen table is going to be the favorite piece of furniture in your house from now on.

5 0
Mathalamus 24

You really should not be eating or drinking in bed anyway...

2 1
404wan 19

Im sorry what? Its not her bed, it belongs to both of you. Do what you want, just dont be needlessly messy. And if she wont have sex, just enjoy that endless sandwich in your pocket.

0 1
Seeya55 31

The sex part is an issue for both of them, but I completely agree no eating/drinking in bed! Crumbs don't magically stay on one side and spills affect both parties as you now BOTH have to get up to change the sheets.

0 0