Work: Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood...

By kittkatt1 - 11/11/2013 01:52 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 381

You deserved it 5 508

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Too much TV rots your brain (so they say)

By Itstheapocalypse - 26/11/2017 19:00

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 3 129

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 343

You deserved it 4 375

Barfed out

By superbubbles - 23/03/2021 21:30 - Canada

Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 145

By shaviTuT - 07/02/2013 19:44 - Malaysia - Bandar Penggaram

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 450

You deserved it 2 672

By notahero - 09/01/2015 04:40 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 330

You deserved it 2 622

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 4 164

The step before rat-licker

By Annabelle - 17/03/2021 17:01

Today, I got caught sniffing a rat, and now my boss is forcing me to be tested for the black death and is "terrified" that I made everyone sick, and says I may be fired from my job as a pediatric anesthesiologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 213

Killing in the name of

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 02:00

Today, I've loved for years that my boyfriend works at an animal shelter, but I learned from his coworker that he’s the guy that puts the animals to sleep, full time, sometimes 30 a day. Now I’m disgusted to sit in the same room as him, because he always says he loves his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 107

You deserved it 10 783

By MrsKSB - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 8 518

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 11 November 2013 8:23

Plot twist: It wasn't the nerve that made it twitch.

jenn1808 16

Monday 11 November 2013 8:26

Sounds like a pretty unpleasant job to begin with. I hope that it's for a good cause; animal research always makes me really sad.

Comments

misswilwarin 9

Wednesday 13 November 2013 0:30

You deserve it. What kind horrifically cruel job do you have? How can you live with yourself with my type of job you have? I hope you become so terrified that you die of fear.

hatemyluck 15

Friday 22 November 2013 19:56

Yeah, op's job might be experimenting on animals but you probably live in a home, buy groceries in a store, work at a job, and use power from a power plant which was created by destroying forestland which decreases biodiversity. You just have a cruel life in general.

PieReaper 11

Wednesday 13 November 2013 4:42

So I'm assuming Hell Hounds are real

poisongirl708 11

Wednesday 13 November 2013 4:44

Whoa

sanecatlady 13

Wednesday 13 November 2013 23:06

I just read that the whole belief that the dead can reanimate may have been due to the Black Death, when people were just throwing all the bodies into mass graves. Some of the victims may have actually still been alive and able to climb back out, and disorientation or even brain damage from fever may have made them *appear* to be undead...

triplecccs 6

Thursday 21 November 2013 6:16

That's hilarious.

Baller_Bob 17

Wednesday 19 March 2014 12:56

That's ******* creepy

DeadPixel4 29

Wednesday 18 June 2014 7:16

Just remember, without a working circulatory system to distribute oxygen to the rest of the body, zombies couldn't even move, let alone stand. Also, they couldn't feel hunger for nearly the same reason, because their fats wouldn't produce (is it lipin?), which causes hunger. Therefore zombies are impossible and irrelevant to fear.