Yeah, because they all come with little tags that say "warning: psycho in disguise" the reason you hear family and friends of psychos on the news say "it's such a shock, they weren't the type" is because it really was a shock and most of them really weren't the "type"

Your first point holds no relation to this post, if you want to get on my ass for details. We are given enough information that we can see that OP isn't a codependent glutton for abuse. As soon as she acquired the knowledge that she was being manipulated, she left the relationship. As for your second point, if you were able to clearly communicate your ideas, it wouldn't have been a problem at all and I wouldn't have mentioned it. However, because you worded your post in such a way that it implied that women are helpless, I defended that in my reply. So no, I don't fail at logic, you fail at clear communication. The people of the internet aren't here to connect the dots in your responses, it's your job to word things properly or take the fire for sounding, in this case, sexist. An attack on my character with no background knowledge is a useless filler in your reply, you would do well in presidential debates. If you can relate, you should be more empathetic, not tell people to be more cautious. That is where the victim blaming comes in. How you state things, what you say, and how you responded shows how you view things-saying you don't view them like that is useless when you've already laid it out. The quotes were me engaging in a fictional conversation with evidence you've given me that directly correlates with what many ignorant people say to victims of rape and abuse on a daily basis.

#49, come off it. I'm not sure if you're being deliberately obtuse or are really clueless about the implications of what you're saying, but you're wrong here and are becoming needlessly combative. It may not be clear that all people would avoid dating people they know are dicks, but in this case, it *is* clear, because as soon as she found out, she dumped him. Quod erat demonstrandum. Basic logic, as you say. Also, when you make a comment that starts, "Why do girls..." you *have* to know it sounds like you're singling out females. Why specify when it doesn't add clarity? Especially when there are only two choices, specifying one makes the other conspicuous by its absence. Finally, you questioned why girls would even get into relationships with dangerous idiots in the first place, concluding that they must be very good looking. How else can one interpret that other than to mean "well, she rolled the dice on a good-looking psycho and it turned out poorly. It's kind of her fault for being attracted to a nutcase, though." And that's the definition of victim-blaming.

All I am seeing from you is victim blaming. You're blaming OP for not knowing her ex was unstable. Do you also blame women who are domestic abuse survivors?

#53 Um, so at this point I think you're just getting mad and not actually debating anymore. PM me if you have something useful to say and you just feel awkward being attacked by everyone who is making too much sense in their replies to you. I understand you were probably just trying to get likes and seem funny or something when you made your original comment, but this is the internet and you should expect negativity when you say stupid things.

#53, exactly what, besides this contentious conversation, did you hope to accomplish by asking why women would enter into a relationship with a potentially dangerous man? You had to know your original statement had an accusatory tone, especially when you added the "he must be good-looking." If you didn't know it at first, you certainly know it now. That's how it sounds to the rest of us. Simply say you're sorry for the unintended implications and move on. Continuing to argue just makes it look like you're defending the implications.

this is good confirmation that breaking up with him was a good decision. report him and/or get a restraining order to make he doesn't come near again in any way.

What a creep.. Glad you said ex boyfriend!

that totally sounds like something my ex would do ???

It's Chto