Work: Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The...

By Ineedlotsofwater - 23/01/2015 16:41 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 2 736

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Suspicion

By vaylosa - 22/02/2015 20:36

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 581

You deserved it 3 617

Never trust a cookie

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 14:01

Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 185

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 906

You deserved it 2 130

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 112

You deserved it 4 257

Kinda sus, dude

By tee - 15/08/2016 13:54 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 242

You deserved it 1 494

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 629

You deserved it 3 144

By DantesInfernalRage - 12/09/2017 13:00

Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 932

You deserved it 259

By drug testing - 09/05/2013 22:22 - United States - Little Chute

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 141

You deserved it 15 325

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 01:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 384

You deserved it 2 931

By sick - 06/01/2011 12:21 - United States

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 660

You deserved it 2 595

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:07

On the bright side, you'll probably cheer up about that situation very soon with how cheerful you are, buddy.

dude_itskayley 17

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:12

I personally feel like in a sense that's a compliment! A lot of people wish they could seem as happy as that I'm sure! Congrats on passing every test, really showed them! :)

Comments

tygerarmy 35

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:41

For the "random" drug tests at my job, it is randomly everybody who is at work on that day. I'm glad about that because even if my boss wanted to pick on me like yours, my boss would be taking the drug test too.

PleasantDino 22

Saturday 24 January 2015 2:33

At my fiancé's occupation they randomly pick like 5 people on the spot

Charles900 16

Saturday 24 January 2015 1:06

Everyone requires a drug test if you want to work now. Even so, it's not fair to be singled out just because you look happy. How miserable are your co-workers if being happy means you're under suspicion for drugs?

kingkobrastrikes 13

Saturday 24 January 2015 1:38

I don't think this is a FML at all :) that's a good thing! Must mean that you are not only a good worker but proving your boss wrong every time lol WIN-WIN!