Miscellaneous: Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

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Same thing different taste

Get out

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 099

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 10 377

By Anonymous - 04/08/2015 01:28 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 790

You deserved it 2 148

We meet again

By laprochainefoisjerestealamaison - 25/02/2013 19:47 - France - Montpellier

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 494

You deserved it 5 093

Welcome to the world!

By Anonymous - 01/04/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 07:21 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 627

You deserved it 8 389

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 637

You deserved it 711

The miracle of childbirth

By Val - 09/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized my marriage is over. I was in labor with our first child and my husband acted like being there with me in the hospital was a chore. However, he saw a young nurse and his mood did a 180. He left soon before I gave birth because he “got hungry.” All of this and he STILL has no clue why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 168

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 4 180

Next

Top comments

newyorkcityguy 9

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:22

At least he wasn't busy selling 1.2 million dollars worth of meth.

Mossygirl357 12

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:21

Congratulations on your baby girl.

Comments

gobiteme2 34

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:49

Hopefully she isn’t your nurse. Husband is a douche for flirting, the nurse is even worse for stopping and engaging in it.

delude 26

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:55

I'd have to disagree, I think the husband is worse

gobiteme2 34

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:38

There really is only one kind a douche and that is “BIG”

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 15 February 2015 1:16

We don't know if the nurse was flirting back, It could have been all one sided.

Vegetarian27 24

Sunday 15 February 2015 11:06

Of course, I forgot that when a man who's married flirts with a woman, it's the woman's fault. So silly of me.

vikky538 28

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:49

congratulations on this occasion... BTW... you can always punish him by making him change the diapers until the baby turns 1...

Ms_ValS 27

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:45

So basically the diaper will never get changed.

False_Stupidity 41

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:51

He should be nursing his daughter, not flirting with a nurse.

SMHsohard 22

Sunday 15 February 2015 1:56

I would pay to see a man nurse a baby.

mrmcleod 29

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:18

"I have nipple, Greg, can you milk me?"

KhaleesiDannie 26

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:05

My husband would be dead in that situation I'm sorry it happened but you need to have a MAJOR sit down talk about that

CHUBBYninja 18

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:24

Guys will be guys. Flirting doesn't mean anything. Even if you just had a baby!

johnwilkesbooth 10

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:33

that's an awfully bad mentality to have what the hell

stallionlover 4

Sunday 15 February 2015 0:37

@#19 Yes. Guys will be guys (and by guys I mean juvenile boys) But real men will be men and have the decency to refrain from that behavior. Especially at such an intimate and special moment.

swimmergal_14 10

Sunday 15 February 2015 1:17

I am sorry you had to go Through that!! On the other hand what did you name your daughter?

electrodude 15

Sunday 15 February 2015 1:23

2 words CHILD SUPPORT

Thnks_Fr_Th_Bnds 15

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:04

he's a dick

He11Rais3r 2

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:08

Did you get an epidural?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 6 900

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 369

You deserved it 1 985

The Top

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 190

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 847

You deserved it 10 066

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 162

You deserved it 8 413

Today, my idiot daughter used my wax warmer to try to give herself a bikini wax using old crayons. Not sure which YouTube idiot she learned it from, but the stench of melted crayon, burnt hair, and singed flesh isn’t a smell I’ll soon be forgetting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 245

Today, I'm wondering if I can forgive someone who I was there for when they were at their lowest, but when I was at mine, they dropped me and told me they couldn’t help me, and I can't talk to them about it anymore? FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 98

Today, my cousins and I were walking past bars, choosing one go to. I recently got my hair cut short and thought it was cute. A little boy walking beside us looked at me and said, "Are you a boy?" His mother shushed him and said, "No dear, she's just flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 281