Love: Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the...

By Sammy - 27/04/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 5 555

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 191

Suspicious coincidence?

By Confused - 20/05/2023 15:00

Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 137

Classic Dave

By not the mama - 24/10/2020 02:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 111

Welcome to the world!

By Anonymous - 01/04/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 166

Congrats!

By sodonewiththis89 - 10/02/2021 13:59

Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 83

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 650

By NewBride - 14/08/2013 17:39 - United States - Lincoln

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 847

You deserved it 5 595

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 802

You deserved it 79 052

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 4 180

TiffyterroriZe 9

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:34

Tiger Woods is the father?

squishy01 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:34

What an ungrateful bastard.

Comments

adair96 0

Friday 29 April 2011 8:07

ha! he sucks.

keeneh16 0

Friday 29 April 2011 14:41

Name the kid "Birdy"

Dean_king 0

Friday 29 April 2011 15:30

good day for both of you then...

McPuffs 0

Friday 29 April 2011 16:56

life's all about priorities

15NorthFace 0

Friday 29 April 2011 23:44

yeah that's when I would have gave him a birdie with my middle finger!! jkjk

dariagleek 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:24

he wasn't there with u? what a jerk! well congratz to the new kid :) god bless

KeriGlover 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 14:07

That sounds like my exhusband (notice the ex part of the word)

fireflames113 6

Monday 9 May 2011 6:12

good for him

apples67 7

Tuesday 17 May 2011 5:37

sorry!:) uhm........don't marry a douche!

therising209 3

Monday 30 May 2011 1:33

at least he got the birdie

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 250

The Top

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 683

You deserved it 4 261

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 016

You deserved it 5 291

Today, after over a month of running to lose weight, I can’t walk without crying from the shooting pain in my legs. My husband is upset that I won’t go to the grocery store, make his lunch, or go hiking with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 531

You deserved it 819

Today, both a coworker of mine and my boss agreed that I fit the profile of a serial killer. I don't know what's worse, the fact that they think that low of me, or the fact that this isn't the first time someone's said I remind them of a serial killer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 287

Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 809

You deserved it 14 185

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 957

You deserved it 2 689