Kids: Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently,...

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 619

You deserved it 8 723

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 4 247

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 915

You deserved it 5 035

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 919

You deserved it 9 075

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 201

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 057

You deserved it 49 659

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 296

You deserved it 365

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 330

You deserved it 9 434

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 565

You deserved it 4 701

By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 400

You deserved it 2 783

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 886

You deserved it 271

splice520 4

Friday 25 March 2011 9:08

future pimp

enonymous 8

Friday 25 March 2011 9:14

So did the teacher get a discount?

Comments

DocBastard 38

Friday 25 March 2011 12:03

What the...I've been charging people €5 to touch every1luvsboners' yonker, and this little shit has been undercutting my business! I'm gonna ******' cut him.

Maxgolub 13

Friday 25 March 2011 12:12

this is epic =D your son is awesome =P

raya_kz 7

Friday 25 March 2011 12:12

Hahaha nice!!!

aKid_namedIZ 1

Friday 25 March 2011 12:18

your son is ****** BOSS

CanadianMuse 0

Friday 25 March 2011 12:19

At least the kid gets around (and some)

Sticxz 0

Friday 25 March 2011 12:26

lmaoo. A genius at a young age

soketgo 0

Friday 25 March 2011 12:33

pimp!!!!!!

lesdodis 0

Friday 25 March 2011 12:35

tell the teacher don't hate the playa hate the game

silverstream20 20

Friday 25 March 2011 12:46

The kid us full of win but you fail as a parent

dearing94 0

Friday 25 March 2011 12:54

Thats awesome. PIMP! But sucky for you.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 4 026

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6 a.m. to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 760

The Top

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 989

You deserved it 2 222

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 107

Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 2 007

Today, I watched as my four-year-old niece accidentally knocked over her mom’s wine. She was clearly upset about it, and her mother screaming at her didn’t help. Later, she asked her mom if she still loved her, to which she replied, "I don’t believe in second chances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 114

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 512

You deserved it 5 672

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 435

You deserved it 3 156

Same thing different taste

What up big pimps?

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