Kids: Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy...

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 145

You deserved it 3 190

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 008

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 1 891

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 9 432

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 6 689

Nostradamus

By Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 601

You deserved it 4 438

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 723

You deserved it 3 605

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 71 864

By Rae - 30/07/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 452

You deserved it 4 492

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 716

You deserved it 3 982

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 19:28 - Germany - Nuremberg

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 575

You deserved it 38 621

fleamo_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 9:20

And you're POSITIVE she meant 'puter?

aerials_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 9:16

Ah, that's pretty funny. Pretty awkward too. FYL.

Comments

Funnybunny1992 0

Friday 15 January 2010 23:32

Lmao thts funny

NatandAlexrhot 6

Wednesday 10 March 2010 4:28

lollll wow XD

atomicgurl18 3

Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:41

wow that realli sucks..let them believe what they want haha..hey exuse for moving

glitterbabe224 0

Wednesday 19 May 2010 5:18

oohhlala. funnyyyyyy(:

sarahbella101 7

Monday 9 May 2011 6:16

what kinda name is mindy???

hateevryone 14

Sunday 17 July 2011 0:34

that's kinda funny. you should teach your kid to pronounce things properly

ifetayo 2

Wednesday 24 August 2011 20:54

that is super funny. but hopefully once you explain, people will go away. if not, **** em

missbadluk 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 22:24

Omfg! Fyour husbandsL!!!

dtgr02 4

Saturday 30 June 2012 18:45

Find out the truth first better be safe than sorry later

BTR_lover 1

Monday 16 July 2012 3:52

I wonder how they would have taken it if you just went along with it? o.O

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 087

You deserved it 7 731

Today, I added my boss to the "ew" list on Skype. I then realized it sends her a notification. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 042

You deserved it 6 787

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 016

You deserved it 5 291

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 571

You deserved it 2 981

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 35 187

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 058

You deserved it 4 396