Kids: Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy...

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 145

You deserved it 3 190

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 008

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 1 891

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 9 432

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 6 689

Nostradamus

By Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 601

You deserved it 4 438

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 723

You deserved it 3 605

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 71 864

By Rae - 30/07/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 452

You deserved it 4 492

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 716

You deserved it 3 982

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 19:28 - Germany - Nuremberg

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 575

You deserved it 38 621

fleamo_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 9:20

And you're POSITIVE she meant 'puter?

aerials_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 9:16

Ah, that's pretty funny. Pretty awkward too. FYL.

Comments

summer66_fml 0

Monday 11 May 2009 2:45

LOLOLOLOL hopefully theyll understand when u explain.....

emobunny225 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 3:26

# 2 im sorry, that totally sucks To everyone who says kids need to learn to speak and parents need to teach them, most kids are either in school, or with a nanny, there not usually aroundthere parents that often. So if their friends talk that way, they talk that way. OP- I'm sorry and i hope its all straightened out without serious incident.

rakhil11 7

Thursday 14 May 2009 4:34

i can't help laughing @ this...i'm swy...but i have never heard of a penis bing referred 2 as a 'peter'....

DarkMirror 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 19:43

Lmao. Favorited. and it's okay rakhil11, I didn't it could be referred to as one until just last year xD Weird how it has so many different names.

Lunaris815 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 3:55

Oh. My.. GOD. That really sucks.

srobhrob 0

Monday 25 May 2009 8:37

my daughter says the same thing. She always wants to "play the peter!" but shes saying 'puter. luckily im a single mom and my ex isnt around.

123sploosh 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:22

#18, its "lives" not "life's" god your so stupid.

dtgr02 4

Saturday 30 June 2012 18:48

You are hot

junkinmahcranium 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 20:52

#120, it's "you're" and not "your". God, you're so stupid.

whatthefuckcunt 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 13:52

my god. #120 and #121 - YOU'RE both pedantic *****, and you both need to get LIVES. happy, you stupid *******?

LeCorsaire_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:42

nowadays people are so paranoid

Bobby64 29

Monday 8 August 2011 18:21

Paranoid? I think they had a good reason to call. I mean, believe it or not, child molesters are real. And they just wanted to get some clarification on what she said. That's not being paranoid.