Miscellaneous: Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was...

By tkoester - 29/08/2015 04:29 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 1 570

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Same thing different taste

By Grandson - 01/01/2012 13:51 - Australia

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 877

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 31/05/2014 20:04 - United States - Brandon

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 896

You deserved it 3 887

By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 994

You deserved it 3 471

By mymomsstupid - 29/06/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 176

You deserved it 3 741

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

By abygalee - 10/07/2016 20:42 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 012

You deserved it 721

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 031

You deserved it 1 501

By dammit - 23/05/2017 04:00

Today, my grandma was arrested for throwing her cane at a man who she thought was mocking her walk. That man was my boyfriend's father, who limps because of his cerebral palsy. He refuses to drop the assault charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 844

You deserved it 653

By newniece - 27/01/2010 00:09 - United States

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 988

You deserved it 2 562

By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 14:54 - United States - Erie

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 551

You deserved it 49 544

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Saturday 29 August 2015 11:14

you should be happy! After all those years of marriage, the spark is still there!

Cads1 24

Saturday 29 August 2015 11:17

Sounds like there is a burning issue between them. I wonder what the hot item is.

Comments

naviajack626 16

Saturday 29 August 2015 21:52

sounds like my grandma...

awkwardteenagers 3

Sunday 30 August 2015 3:06

I always knew there was a spark between them

annabeldiaz 2

Sunday 30 August 2015 5:32

At least it wasn't you, she was trying to light on fire.

momac86 17

Sunday 30 August 2015 8:25

Wow I hope I'm that much fun when I'm old

Zee_Mills 13

Sunday 30 August 2015 8:28

what the actual ****

JKPwnage 27

Sunday 30 August 2015 15:44

Well don't give it to her.

Pandacupcakelove 26

Sunday 30 August 2015 16:33

This is so sad... yet so funny

_imacooldude_ 10

Sunday 30 August 2015 22:18

Granny has lost it man

interesting33 36

Sunday 30 August 2015 22:54

That is horrible. Any way you look at it.

tkoester 4

Monday 31 August 2015 3:13

Last time I heard she was still in jail! To top it all off he is an amputee! He only has one leg!

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The Top

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 913

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 785

You deserved it 22 715

The Top

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 019

You deserved it 8 368

Today, I finally fixed the flickering light in my office by tapping it with a broom. Turns out, it wasn't actually the light but a family of squirrels having a some sort of disco party in the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 95

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 159

You deserved it 9 504

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 247

You deserved it 7 600

Today, I was doing weird voice impressions for my friend right before the doorbell rang and I had the front window open. The postman looked at me strangely, handed me my parcel and didn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 240

Today, I found out that the guy I met off of Bumble, and have been seeing for the past few weeks, went to jail in 2020 for kidnapping a girl he met off Tinder. I would've be on a date with him right now had I not decided to Google him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 182

Same thing different taste

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