Intimacy: Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete...

By titkip - 02/04/2016 00:30 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 9 574

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Same thing different taste

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By whyme - 08/12/2010 06:26

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 510

You deserved it 19 794

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 5 679

Good one, thanks

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 562

You deserved it 23 961

By vegeta - 24/12/2018 20:00

Today, I’ve been getting sexy messages from an unknown number. First I told her to stop multiple times, then I blocked her. I can only assume that she changed her number and managed to find me and message me again. My girlfriend saw the messages and told me flatly “It’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 996

You deserved it 217

Not you

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 108

You deserved it 4 006

Party animal

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 16:58

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 332

By anthony - 25/11/2015 12:32 - Luxembourg

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 1 887

By anonymous - 22/11/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 668

You deserved it 2 990

New saying just dropped

By Evan - 10/10/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 219

By Nykole McAllister - 15/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 282

Welshite 39

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:49

Maybe you shouldn't ask call girls to slather themselves in mayonnaise and hop on one leg while hooting like an owl.

tranced_ 45

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:53

This FML has so many issues !

Comments

peckerbeak22 14

Tuesday 5 April 2016 3:51

Are you Glenn Quagmire by any chance?

cho_bee 9

Monday 6 June 2016 5:06

I'd post that on my FB!

toxicLover28 19

Thursday 9 February 2017 19:15

What is this have to do with intimacy?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I invited my mom over for lunch so we could discuss how she broke my trust while she last babysat for me, and that as a result she won’t be babysitting for a little while. She then yelled at me and told me I was being disrespectful and dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 111

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 303

The Top

Today, a customer at work made threats against me and my two-month old son. Instead of following policy by notifying the police, my manager apologized to him and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 206

Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 1 132

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 340

You deserved it 4 408

Today, my roommate wants me to leave for a bit so she can “have a ton of fun.” Is it horrible that I wish it was me, because I can’t remember how long it’s been since I had any “fun"? FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 257

Today, I found out I have a bad singing voice. How? The choir judge decided to yell "STOP! Please just stop!" During my solo. In front of everyone. During the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 263

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 369

You deserved it 4 246