Intimacy: Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete...

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By titkip - 02/04/2016 00:30 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 770

You deserved it 9 583

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Same thing different taste

Help

By whyme - 08/12/2010 06:26

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 519

You deserved it 19 800

Spiteful

By Anonymous - 04/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 176

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 795

You deserved it 5 681

Good one, thanks

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 573

You deserved it 23 965

By vegeta - 24/12/2018 20:00

Today, I’ve been getting sexy messages from an unknown number. First I told her to stop multiple times, then I blocked her. I can only assume that she changed her number and managed to find me and message me again. My girlfriend saw the messages and told me flatly “It’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 003

You deserved it 219

Not you

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 130

You deserved it 4 012

Party animal

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 16:58

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 1 344

By anthony - 25/11/2015 12:32 - Luxembourg

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 251

You deserved it 1 887

By anonymous - 22/11/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 683

You deserved it 2 992

New saying just dropped

By Evan - 10/10/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 220

Welshite 39

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:49

Maybe you shouldn't ask call girls to slather themselves in mayonnaise and hop on one leg while hooting like an owl.

tranced_ 45

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:53

This FML has so many issues !

Comments

Welshite 39

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:49

Maybe you shouldn't ask call girls to slather themselves in mayonnaise and hop on one leg while hooting like an owl.

krazy789 28

Saturday 2 April 2016 16:39

But that's the best though

Welshite 39

Saturday 2 April 2016 16:47

I've been blacklisted by most call girls at this point. The mayonnaise is my favorite too. It's what I get for misunderstanding "condoms" as "condiments".

PhoenixChick 26

Saturday 2 April 2016 20:11

Try switching to Miracle Whip. A call girl just isn't a call girl without the tangy zip of miracle whip! I need therapy.

IamHM 14

Saturday 2 April 2016 22:43

Best. comment. ever! In ANY context.

juggalo2 20

Sunday 3 April 2016 2:47

Who is in to that? Who???

tranced_ 45

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:53

This FML has so many issues !

trulypar 34

Saturday 2 April 2016 14:55

I guess now she's a "no call" girl.

Nyattack 14

Saturday 2 April 2016 15:08

Wow... I'm wondering what kind of person you must be.

Dick_diamond 22

Saturday 2 April 2016 15:10

You need help, dude..

stingray112 24

Saturday 2 April 2016 15:19

It's rlly weird how u say "a girl" and not "my friend" or something

robbiemad 7

Saturday 2 April 2016 15:33

You need to google CALL GIRL

domolovesyoshi 33

Saturday 2 April 2016 15:51

Do you not know what a CALL GIRL is?

joeyl2008 29

Saturday 2 April 2016 15:54

A "call girl" is a hooker.

nwwaverider 14

Saturday 2 April 2016 18:21

No call girls are not hookers, hookers a cheaper usually around $5 to 50 bucks depends on the amount of stds and the last time she has showered call girls on the other hand are classy legal and cost a lot more and don't give as good of bj's because of all the teeth.