Miscellaneous: Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas....

By princesss_14 - 26/12/2013 02:07 - United States - Seguin

Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 041

You deserved it 4 947

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Same thing different taste

By annoying - 10/01/2012 01:30 - United States

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 178

You deserved it 22 566

By PositiveElectron - 27/08/2015 19:52 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 689

You deserved it 1 521

Shitshow

By Syrinth - 21/07/2010 16:09 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 560

You deserved it 31 525

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 2 613

Paranoid

By rockefoe - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 962

You deserved it 33 808

By wished i had a cat - 19/10/2018 17:30

Today, I discovered that my dog knows how to lock doors. This wouldn't have been a problem if anyone in my house every carried a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 632

By Anon - 30/01/2019 00:00

Today, the little bell in my car that lets you know your keys are still in your ignition went out. How did I find out? I locked myself out of both my house and my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 580

By hipprep83 - 20/03/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145 821

You deserved it 12 438

By Anonymous - 20/02/2012 06:05 - United States

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 647

You deserved it 41 111

Embezzlement

By Username - 06/01/2011 07:49

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 621

You deserved it 2 476

SonOfAMitch 14

Thursday 26 December 2013 11:56

A whistle key finder? Does it find your keys when you whistle? That sounds like a badass gift to me.

xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11

Thursday 26 December 2013 11:56

Record a whistle sound on your phone so you can play it back when you loose your keys.

Comments

nm_98 3

Friday 27 December 2013 3:36

This is a really stupid FML just saying

mk8833 9

Friday 27 December 2013 5:40

Be more positive instead of bitchy, at least she tried.

MissSoul 6

Friday 27 December 2013 5:55

that sounds like a bad ass gift. I'd be happy to supply my address if you want to regift it

lulu889x 22

Friday 27 December 2013 7:01

those things go off at any loud noise, I had to turn the sound off on mine because it went off all the time.

ladybuglet 22

Friday 27 December 2013 18:23

Learn.

CaliChris 9

Sunday 29 December 2013 0:03

First world problems.

siggyfart 2

Monday 30 December 2013 7:33

How odd. The exact same thing happened with me. A whistle key finder from my grandma and I can't whistle.

bleu0784 6

Wednesday 8 January 2014 20:29

How is this an FML? It's not like your day was ruined.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 96

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

The Top

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 414

You deserved it 12 296

Today, after months of talking to this guy on Instagram and convinced this was a sure thing, he wanted proof I was real and not catfishing him. I sent him a picture of me holding a paper with his username. He replied, “Sorry, I didn’t know you were a big girl. I need a healthy girl who takes care of herself.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 399

Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 122

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 894

You deserved it 6 449

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 337

You deserved it 3 869

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 108

You deserved it 6 227

Same thing different taste

Shitshow

Paranoid

Embezzlement

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