By Sophies - 26/12/2013 00:45 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 663
You deserved it 3 134
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Top comments

alexsannell 13

Replace it... You don't have to leave it like that forever :)

156 10
challan 19

Those wankers! So ballsy of them. They basically pissed all over you, Op. Do you live by the docks? Those semen are rough characters. Did you call the police? I would, in a hairy situation like this. Those guys are nuts!

143 15

Comments

alexsannell 13

Replace it... You don't have to leave it like that forever :)

156 10
michaelaranda 28

that's not how it works

11 48
ohnowhyme123 15

looks like you were on the naughty list this year!

17 3
glabberfasted 16

8 - How? They're incredibly easy to be replaced. There's even companies just for it.

43 2
whiteboy896 9

OP brand new car that they will be paying off for the next four years, and you think they want to spend $500 on a new windshield?

7 34
Y2Jfan4life 2

You could get a paint job.

4 40
Saikon1357 25

Yes OP paint the windshield of your car. Seeing where you're going is overrated

81 1
kate3101 15

OP is in the UK where a replacement windscreen starts at about £70. Annoying, but not life-threatening.

20 0
byron17 26

Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace! (British joke!)

12 1
Scynistr 20

@8.. Insurance... That's exactly how it works.

12 0
ShannonBitt 29

#30: you're right, I'd rather drive my brand new car with a huge penis keyed in the windshield; it adds character to the car (this is sarcasm, for those who couldn't tell). Also, a new windshield costs nowhere near $500, especially if it is partially or completely covered by insurance. #60: Safelight repair, Safelight replace! (American joke)

25 0
TheHons 7

SpeedyGlass repair, SpeedyGlass replace (Canadian joke)

15 1
Ayeasha 7

Merry Christmas! But doesn't insurance cover that stuff? If it does take it in and get it repaired.

58 1
havingalaugh 9

It does, but most people are scared their rates will go up for a claim like this. In all reality you can file all the comprehensive claims you want and your rate won't go up.

22 0
jazzy_123 20

Will it be good quality work though? My parents bought 2 brand new cars 2 years ago. My moms car got hit with a pebble and it had a crack in the windshield. So my dad took it back and they only put this layer on it that would stop it from cracking even more. Was that just because it wasn't such a big thing? I never understood that.

2 2
Mauskau 35

#55, why replace a whole windscreen if you can fill the small crack so it doesn't get larger?

6 1
jazzy_123 20

That's what I'm saying and that's why I asked. They didn't fill it in and I thought they were. So you can still see the crack. I guess.

0 0
challan 19

Those wankers! So ballsy of them. They basically pissed all over you, Op. Do you live by the docks? Those semen are rough characters. Did you call the police? I would, in a hairy situation like this. Those guys are nuts!

143 15
macystar 14

I just. I don't even know how you came up with all that.

35 5
Shmatterhorn 38

Well, there you go. We should sack you for your humor, but the guys wanted to give you the Internet for today. Enjoy!

19 4
euphoricness 28

She came up with it with the power of dildoes

2 26
vencku 13

Living by the docks just so you could make a pun on seamen was too farfetched and forced in there. It wasn't in any way related to the FML. It'd have been better without that bit. Pity.

4 31
lengi123 18

Nice! Now that they've all been said maybe no one else will make any puns here! lol of course they will... its the internet.

0 4
JMichael 25

Personally I thought it was genius.

5 0
AliSama 17

Urge to propose rising rising rising Falling falling. Ooh shiny.

0 0
niallo 23

Possibly it's the fact that the OP simply had a new car. For some people that's reason enough.

6 1
jazzy_123 20

That is so disrespectful. I hate when people do things like that! Don't they understand the hard work people go through to get things that they could finally get?! I'm sure OP did. Seeing things like this makes me feel so sad and so bad :/

2 0
KinkyCurly 13

Hopefully you have a garage. Try and make room for your car in it. It's the only way to keep it safe from now on. People are so disrespectful these days. If you don't have one...make a police report that way they are aware of that area and its delinquents.

9 3
Shmatterhorn 38

Time to see if that comprehensive insurance coverage is up to the challenge. I just hope that your deductible isn't too high. Sorry to hear about that, OP.

8 2
BoltTheSuperdog 22

Check and see if that's covered by your insurance as vandalism. Merry Christmas anyways!

8 2
buckdharma 36

scratch some flames around it. That way you can tell people it's a Firebird.

12 2