Miscellaneous: Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused...

By Tireddddddd - 31/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 3 437

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Same thing different taste

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 4 261

Roaming gangs

By 23yearoldtoddler - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 011

You deserved it 6 781

By ihatelongflights - 21/08/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 756

You deserved it 3 024

Family tradition

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I woke up to find both my sisters standing over me. One of them punched me in the balls, then dragged me out of bed by my feet. The other poured a jug of ice cold water over me, while the other kicked me in the balls again, from behind this time. They yelled, "Happy birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 127

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 283

You deserved it 433

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 218

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 4 462

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 16 198

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 862

You deserved it 3 408

Ebola_fml 20

Sunday 31 July 2011 16:06

And a fifth camper who complained the whole time.

jewfro311 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 16:05

At least it's over and done with..

Comments

kittykathavefun 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 20:57

The JOY of camping!

camraja901 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 21:06

sooo...your life is ****** because you finally got to come home????

TwoPai 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 21:31

I got kicked out of church summer camp along with my sister cos she masturbated with a corn dog; &it got stuck.... Good times.

iphonegirl_fml 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 22:03

just got back from camp too

jillybean555 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 22:32

nothing seems wrong too me...

vivalavida9111 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 22:59

the counsler watchin u sleep is really giving me a bad mental image

mrsbeeblebrox 7

Sunday 31 July 2011 23:12

do i smell a naked pillow fight????

Itsalltoomuch 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 23:27

At least it's over (:

thelastlucifer 17

Sunday 31 July 2011 23:38

sounds like hell

lilmissdangerous 9

Monday 1 August 2011 0:03

not a happy camper eh?

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The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 145

You deserved it 7 104

The Top

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 955

You deserved it 2 953

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 476

You deserved it 698

Today, I tried reaching out to a girl on Facebook I thought I ended on good terms with after three dates. Not only did she not accept my friend request, she also disabled all friend requests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 336

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 5 759

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 642

You deserved it 2 807

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 665

You deserved it 3 353

Same thing different taste

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