Work: Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave....

By Simms - 14/03/2012 02:32 - United States

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 531

You deserved it 6 467

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Get help, moron!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 15:00

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 834

You deserved it 225

Merry Xmas from the 15th Precinct!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2021 23:01

Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 90

By Sarah - 07/05/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 888

You deserved it 3 042

My day off

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 127

Medicare for all, please

By thefirstcutisthedeepest - 30/09/2021 14:01

Today, I cut my leg deeply at the beginning of my work shift. I wrapped it up with packing tape and a thankfully sterile paper towel, and had to work 6 more hours before I could leave. I made 110 dollars at work, only to spend 120 on stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 174

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 131

The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 248

You deserved it 3 978

By karmaiguess - 18/10/2018 03:00

Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 5 199

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 17:31 - United States - Newark

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 050

You deserved it 1 898

Difficult

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 20:01

Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 124

your_face 15

Wednesday 14 March 2012 5:26

You may be in the wrong profession.

Porschephile 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 5:24

All part of the business. Just be glad that you're far smarter than he is.

Comments

MEM0817 18

Wednesday 14 March 2012 12:36

DocBastard? Just kidding. We know you're a trauma surgeon... not a minor boo boo fixer.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:33

Trust me, I fix more than my fair share of minor boo boos.

rubberduckie94 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 12:58

It was extremely hard work, but I loved every minute of it. It kept you on your toes because you never knew what was going to happen next.

TheyStoleMyPiggy 6

Wednesday 14 March 2012 13:08

I completely agree with coffeechick. If you're that jaded about your job, you need to find a new one.

duckdragon31 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 13:32

You sound like House...

Llamacod 11

Wednesday 14 March 2012 14:11

Doc bastard? Is that you?

Llamacod 11

Wednesday 14 March 2012 14:13

48- the blue circle with the arrow sticking up to the right decided op was a guy.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 14 March 2012 14:18

Ok everyone slow down. Trust me, taking care of this guy is not going to interfere with anyone getting the care they need. There's this thing called triage - we evaluate everyone and then make a decision either to tender immediate care or to put them on a back burner in favour of illnesses of higher acuity. No one is going to wait a minute longer than they have to because of patients like this. He can sit in the back of the ER or on a stretcher in a hallway for hours waiting to have his leg sutured so that the ER doctor can tend to heart attacks, strokes, diabetic ketoacidosis, etc.

OfficeNinja 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 14:19

Quit complaining! Idiots like that are your iron clad, bullet proof, super reliable, guarantee that you have job security for LIFE! As long as there are stupid people doing stupid things - you will have a good job. Be happy about that and be happy there are so many stupid jackasses in the world.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 14 March 2012 14:24

Sorry to disappoint people, but this isn't mine. See post #107 under comment #2. To OP - I have to agree with everyone telling you to suck it up and do your damned job. I don't know if you're a nurse, an ER doctor, a surgeon, or what. It doesn't make a difference - you knew full well when you got into medicine that people are stupid and that you would be dealing with said stupid people. But there are just as many gracious people who are actually thankful for the work you do. There's nothing better than a patient telling me, "Thanks for saving my life, Doc." THAT is what going into medicine is about, not dealing with "jackasses" who "waste your time". If that's the way you view your profession, it's probably time for you to choose a new one. Leave the caring for those of us who actually do.