Work: Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave....

By Simms - 14/03/2012 02:32 - United States

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 537

You deserved it 6 471

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Same thing different taste

Get help, moron!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 15:00

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 838

You deserved it 225

Merry Xmas from the 15th Precinct!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2021 23:01

Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 93

By Sarah - 07/05/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 893

You deserved it 3 044

My day off

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 130

Medicare for all, please

By thefirstcutisthedeepest - 30/09/2021 14:01

Today, I cut my leg deeply at the beginning of my work shift. I wrapped it up with packing tape and a thankfully sterile paper towel, and had to work 6 more hours before I could leave. I made 110 dollars at work, only to spend 120 on stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 176

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 132

The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 261

You deserved it 3 979

By karmaiguess - 18/10/2018 03:00

Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 373

You deserved it 5 206

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 17:31 - United States - Newark

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 1 899

Difficult

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 20:01

Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 126

your_face 15

Wednesday 14 March 2012 5:26

You may be in the wrong profession.

Porschephile 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 5:24

All part of the business. Just be glad that you're far smarter than he is.

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 14 March 2012 19:16

Also working in the ER, you should not be surprised at some of the injuries and how they got them. I am sure you have seen them all and a samurai sword is a mild one, compared to the extremes like people shoving an alarm clock up their ass or something.

NoxiousNorwegian 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 18:54

Find another job. Period. Point blank.

cajekraze 7

Wednesday 14 March 2012 20:10

Get over yourself, Ass. These idiots pay your grossly oversized paycheck

ZuRG_fml 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:31

More like insurance, Medicare, or Medicaid.

dominic1221 6

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:07

Medical people are some of the most important members of society. Their paychecks damn well aren't oversized, you ignorant man.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 March 2012 4:15

Oversized? Really? We're overpaid, but let me guess, you think that it's ok for a baseball player to make $10 million a season to play a ******* game, right? **** you. You don't know a goddamned thing about medical economics. Most doctors in the US graduate from medical school with an average of $250,000 in debt. Then they do a residency for 3-8 years making $40-50,000 a year. And then primary care doctors work their asses off taking care of fuckwads like you to make $100k. I work 80-100 hours a week, and I earn and deserve every penny I make. So go **** yourself.

cloakedn007 1

Wednesday 14 March 2012 20:39

Wow I hope I never get a nurse like you.

RoxxyHustle 7

Wednesday 14 March 2012 22:27

without those jack asses wouldn't you be out of a job?

blankgoal 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:03

I'm and EMT we were called to a scene where a man had his toe stuck in a beer can.

carleilam 3

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:00

Sounds like you need to review an ethics chapter from your academic career and also review the HIPPA laws. You definitely need a new attitude towards your patients. The last thing this patient needed after making a mistake was you treating him poorly. Shame on you!!!

dominic1221 6

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:17

Look at comment #70's replies. Sounds like YOU need to review HIPAA, after you learn how to spell it correctly. Shame on YOU for spouting opinions as facts.

Squeaky_Tomato 14

Thursday 15 March 2012 1:34

Thank you Doc. Finally a smart person on this thread. Also if "idiots" should not be treated (as most of you seem to think) then the ER would be empty, and most emergency employees would be out of a job.