By divorcee - 06/09/2012 03:27 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 099
You deserved it 4 086

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sucks for you, OP. but do they have to call you by name every time? Can't they just say 'miss' ?

A100893 30

Have them call you Ms. (Whatever letter your ex-husband's name started with) that way it isn't as painful.

Comments

Should've lived in Norway where we always just refer to the teacher by first name, no miss, mrs or anything. Ehehe. Never understood why English speaking countries did that anyways, makes you so distanced from your teacher.

I think it's a matter of respect and there position as a superior to their students in not sure and I live in an English speaking country. Try your search engine of choice to be sure.

Euhm, it are not only English speaking countries who do that. But yes, it is specifically meant to create a distance. When I'm a teacher, I'll always keep my maiden name. My boyfriend's last name doesn't sound as good with a 'miss' before it.

I guess it's just a cultural difference, but I just knew that every English speaking country did it, at least. :) We like to have a close relationship to our teachers in my country, we get their e-mails, phone numbers and always refer to them by their first name, to me it makes it easier to trust them, being able to tell them stuff which helps you getting through your education easier, in my opinion.

I can't say for other countries, but in the US, it's just showing respect. I always thought it was weird before I moved here, but by now, calling people Ma'am and Sir is second nature. It doesn't necessarily distance you from them - it's just a sign of respect. I even catch myself saying "Yes Ma'am" to my grandma every once in a while. But for strangers, ESPECIALLY people WAY older than me, saying Ma'am/Sir just comes naturally. When it comes to names... Teachers are always Mr. or Mrs. or Coach. My World History teacher was the coach of some sort of team and we all called him Coach Oliver. Otherwise, I usually call people by the name they told me. My coworker, who is in her 50s, gets called Mrs Georgia. My manager is Mr. Steve. It's just the way it goes. Back when I lived in Germany, things like that were different. Usually, I called people by their first name. At school, it was Herr (Mr.) and Frau (Mrs.) [Insert Last Name]. People that are superior to you (whether it's age or status) are supposed to be treated with respect and in most cultures, that does include the use of titles like Sir and Ma'am.

Things could be worse op, you could have no job at all.

perdix 29

Sure, they could be worse. Your ex's new wife could be one of your students and her mom could be the principal of your school. Yep, that would be worse. Damn! That's the basis of a fake FML I could have submitted and got my steenkeeng badge.

Hey, it could be worse. I had a teacher in a similar situation except that her ex-husband was a teacher at the same school and he had left her for an 18 year old student.

Make your maiden name one of their spelling words they have to memories.:P or write it on the chalk board in big bold letters.(: They'll get it right soon enough. ***Sorry about your divorce. I'm sure it's painful to deal with.

Chixken 6

That happened to my s.s teacher...don't worry they will get it soon.

Isn't it awful? I'm going through the same thing at my work. When customers see my new name on my business cards their initial reaction is "oh did you get married? Congratulations!" then I have to correct them. I make a joke of it, but am still sick of having that conversation.

it wasn't a failed marriage - it was just a marriage that has run its course. people change and grow. that's a positive thing. better to get out of a marriage that no longer fulfilled you both than to live in misery staying a "successful" marriage

perdix 29

You mean waking up in a cold, empty bed in the morning isn't already a daily reminder of your failed marriage? Solving your problem is easy: Don't respond to your married name, and only answer when they use your maiden name. "Mrs. Cruise, . . ., Mrs. Cruise! . . ." *crickets* "Miss Holmes?" "Yes, may I help you?"

Obviously you've never worked in public education if you think that's a positive solution.

perdix 29

I did do some volunteer work for Junior Achievement and noticed the kids were stunned when I actually enforced some discipline. I got my revenge by going off script and teaching them communism. I had them singing "The Internationale," chanting "workers of the world, unite" and assigned them to tell their parents that "Religion is the opiate of the masses."

Kids have a way of correcting each other. Yes, initially, the wrong-name-reminder will suck, but the kids will step in and be all, " Her name is Ms. Awesome, not Ms. What's-his-name! Pssh!". Give it time.