Animals: Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

Mystery

By mugged - 01/06/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 268

You deserved it 4 713

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 194

You deserved it 7 952

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 178

You deserved it 3 594

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 941

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 352

By youknowwhatitis - 22/06/2011 13:31 - Australia

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 735

You deserved it 36 006

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 11 772

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 265

You deserved it 9 318

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 317

You deserved it 15 396

Dezi_Chan 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:05

Deserved it. You probably threw a peanut at it, or even worse... MADE THE DUCKFACE! :OO

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:07

I AM THE WALRUS!!!! coo coo ca choo :-P

Comments

sharmen 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:27

Added to my favorites.

pvthill 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:30

number 4 and the orange haired chic are fussing again page 3 anxiety bytch fml

FFML_314 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:33

And?

pvthill 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:34

jus updating fml we are going to take bets to see who wins I got the and girl

priscilla_28 5

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:40

Thanks for the... Update! haha If I had to bet, which I am not... it would be on Anna. You got a way with words girl :) haha

pvthill 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:38

and orange haired girl comes bak with a strong comment fmb

DevilWearsPrado 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:38

lmao what an badass!!

priscilla_28 5

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:39

this FML page is effin up on me :|

FFML_314 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:39

You're pretty bored aren't you? That's to the other guy, not you Priscilla. Thank you btw.

priscilla_28 5

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:02

I am very bored though. Well you are very welcome :)

pvthill 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:41

very bored my I phone will die eventually

pvthill 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:44

hey I voted 4 u too lol u r the and girl

FFML_314 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:44

No comment.

MightyWalrus 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:58

FYL, now i regret choosing this nickname

priscilla_28 5

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:05

Mighty Indeed! :)

RezaDupontDC 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:27

yeah, you need to be slapped for that--we'll all slap ya.

smurf1 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:08

hahahhahahaha!!!! PWND!!!!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 685

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 072

The Top

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 552

You deserved it 42 815

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 365

You deserved it 5 294

Today, I'm tired of people pretending that autism is a great thing to have. I don't feel "great" when I'm hardly able to communicate with other people, crushing my independence, and making me unable to seek help. I just want to be normal, to be able to live on my own. I don't want to be a burden anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 90

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 898

You deserved it 2 787

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 780

You deserved it 995

Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back of the car by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 971

You deserved it 5 362

Same thing different taste

Mystery

Freakout

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