Animals: Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

Mystery

By mugged - 01/06/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 271

You deserved it 4 713

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 194

You deserved it 7 952

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 178

You deserved it 3 595

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 591

You deserved it 941

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 5 352

By youknowwhatitis - 22/06/2011 13:31 - Australia

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 735

You deserved it 36 008

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 11 772

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 267

You deserved it 9 318

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 15 396

Dezi_Chan 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:05

Deserved it. You probably threw a peanut at it, or even worse... MADE THE DUCKFACE! :OO

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:07

I AM THE WALRUS!!!! coo coo ca choo :-P

Comments

Frightening_fml 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:18

damn that sucks, did you take his bucket before he slapped you?

chuy92 0

Monday 1 November 2010 7:27

45 your makeup is gorgeous :)

perdix 29

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:24

When I was a kid, I read a book called, "I Was Kissed by a Seal at the Zoo." This sounds like the long-awaited sequel. Finally!

uHazFailedTotall 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:42

And yet again, Perdix wins.

melinaz 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:26

wow, it cannot be any sadder than this...FYL

Big_Boner 3

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:43

PWND! ... By a walrus.

xladylarienx 18

Tuesday 13 July 2010 13:56

Did you take its bukkit?

DynamicDave 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 14:00

Lmao! Wish I could see video of that!

ManPlus911 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 14:02

John Lennon hates you.

ManPlus911 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 14:04

Also, just for the hell of it, GOO GOO G'JOOB! :D

imhowie 2

Tuesday 13 July 2010 14:04

That's hilarious!

Frightening_fml 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 14:22

lmao 55 I got that first :P

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 370

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 759

You deserved it 4 465

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 51 981

You deserved it 5 984

Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 263

You deserved it 13 479

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I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 183

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I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 166

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I agree, your life sucks 25 025

You deserved it 4 966

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 896

You deserved it 76 930

Same thing different taste

Mystery

Freakout

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