Animals: Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

Mystery

By mugged - 01/06/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 268

You deserved it 4 713

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 194

You deserved it 7 952

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 178

You deserved it 3 594

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 941

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 352

By youknowwhatitis - 22/06/2011 13:31 - Australia

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 735

You deserved it 36 006

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 11 772

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 265

You deserved it 9 318

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 317

You deserved it 15 396

Dezi_Chan 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:05

Deserved it. You probably threw a peanut at it, or even worse... MADE THE DUCKFACE! :OO

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 13 July 2010 12:07

I AM THE WALRUS!!!! coo coo ca choo :-P

Comments

BackHurts 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 20:22

BAM!

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 13 July 2010 20:33

lmao!!!!! i wish i was there to see this ahahaha, to funny

metalboy94 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:01

XD not that much of an FML tho

Secondine 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:08

that's prett funny ha

DRush_fml 12

Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:14

Walruses are very anept at reconizing bitches...

ThatBrownChick 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:20

HAHAHAHAHA this made my day! :D

walrux 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:29

Did you take his bucket???

BonJovi821 3

Tuesday 13 July 2010 23:32

There should be more people like you in the world.

_mystique_ 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:45

Since when did Sea Life Park have a walrus??? They only have native sea creatures there.

alexxss_fml 10

Tuesday 13 July 2010 23:23

lmaooo!!!! I could just picture that!!! omg hilarious!!!!!

Dizzygrl08 4

Tuesday 13 July 2010 23:46

Haha omg this made my day ^^

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The Top

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 968

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

The Top

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 978

You deserved it 8 985

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 532

You deserved it 5 520

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 687

You deserved it 91 589

Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left-handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 885

You deserved it 858

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 119

You deserved it 6 406

Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 284

Same thing different taste

Mystery

Freakout

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