Intimacy: Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable...

By gabormelchior - 23/04/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 257

You deserved it 75 629

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Same thing different taste

Five bucks

By DreamZ - 24/05/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 351

Late start

By Rachel - 18/05/2009 15:23 - United States

Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 813

You deserved it 5 351

By wowohwow - 23/06/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 156

You deserved it 6 174

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 6 823

By cheesfactor - 19/05/2012 19:50 - Bulgaria - Rousse

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 2 377

By notyouraverageteenager - 10/06/2010 07:06 - Australia

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 327

You deserved it 7 331

By Rose - 15/06/2012 05:54 - United States - Tenino

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 581

You deserved it 2 668

By anonymous - 11/06/2015 14:37 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 900

You deserved it 2 652

By username - 31/07/2011 22:19 - United States

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 584

You deserved it 16 557

Too late

By fuzzle003 - 13/06/2012 12:47 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 688

You deserved it 4 142

Serial 2

Friday 24 April 2009 9:54

you should of told him a price, had him pay in advance, and run like hell. more money for the mall

girmonkey 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:50

Wow that totally sucks! Was your skirt really short. That could be an explanation....

Comments

girmonkey 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:50

Wow that totally sucks! Was your skirt really short. That could be an explanation....

Bitts 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:51

How much?

truelyawesome 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 22:09

I agree, how much?

drunkmunkey 24

Thursday 26 February 2015 14:43

about tree-fiddy

wildie 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:51

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

youknowimright 5

Wednesday 12 December 2012 14:36

Or cheap looking...

eyebrowzzz 21

Saturday 10 January 2015 0:09

I agree

buryuntime 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:53

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

crazy_bananas 31

Friday 12 August 2016 9:15

It sounds a lot more like she was dressed like a god damn toddler. A slutty toddler I guess.

ba11in 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:53

"$5 suckie suckie?"

Serial 2

Friday 24 April 2009 9:54

you should of told him a price, had him pay in advance, and run like hell. more money for the mall

clarissa_Gyall 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 22:42

^ LOL

lorrain_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:55

"a knee to the groin and knuckle rings to the eyes?" ..... then again.... some guys might like that price. >.>

pocketrockets 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 16:54

very true

emmiewinsatlife 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:55

let this be a lesson to you, start dressing like a complete slob.

Spider_fml 9

Friday 24 April 2009 9:59

might concider reporting him... It's funny though :D And a compliment really...

domolovesyoshi 33

Monday 10 February 2014 21:04

yes, I love getting told I look like a hooker, I really appreciate compliments like that.

Bleep_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:59

Dressing less slutty might help.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 647

You deserved it 1 159

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 57

The Top

Today, after I missed in school for two and a half weeks, I also missed three tests. Now I gotta work for all of them during my holidays and read two books for school. My holidays are just gonna be like school, but with more work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 787

Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 119

You deserved it 9 282

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 957

You deserved it 3 704

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 689

Today, my newly installed Ring doorbell captured crystal clear footage of my wife sucking off my brother on my porch. With sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 017

You deserved it 152

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 021

You deserved it 4 665

Same thing different taste

Five bucks

Late start

Too late

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