Health: Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal...

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By ifpigsflew - 04/10/2010 23:31 - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 200

You deserved it 2 778

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Same thing different taste

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 357

You deserved it 34 746

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 6 096

By Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 723

You deserved it 13 719

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 962

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 4 304

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 427

You deserved it 13 471

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 807

You deserved it 818

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 351

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 006

You deserved it 32 374

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 7 981

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:13

Spider pig, spider pig......

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 5 October 2010 11:04

Unless Harry Potter attends.

Comments

mnkyc_mnkydo 5

Thursday 7 October 2010 7:18

did u eat it?

LoonyLuna123 0

Friday 8 October 2010 3:37

looks like pigs do fly

SuperAshSmiles 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 16:39

i like salami..but only from the deli.

unilpentium_3 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 7:16

Who the **** throws salami from their car?

blahblahduncare 0

Thursday 11 November 2010 3:09

I laughed. (: FYL.

skrump 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 15:52

what a day! That's a good one to tell ur kids

ndiggidy 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:28

You just got salami'd, byatch!

xXDubbleChic 11

Monday 1 August 2011 6:37

I was scarred by a bush.

phinaboococolo 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 16:21

It's ok that would scare me too

foreversummer67 3

Tuesday 3 January 2012 19:37

i guess pigs do fly, haha

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Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. It includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 423

You deserved it 8 689

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 611

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 2 729

Today, I was hired as a student assistant. I was excited, until I learned on my very first day that "Supporting the academic staff in their research" actually meant walking the professor's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 434

You deserved it 1 434

Today, I ordered some food and included a slice of cheesecake. However, I think they glued the Tupperware lid together and I didn't actually want to launch the cheesecake into the air when I finally got it open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 131

Today, in the locker room, I saw a girl with a nice hairless ass changing in front of me and the only thing I could think of was how hairy my ass would look if I dared to change in front of other people like she did. I’m also a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 190

Today, I keep hearing a tapping noise in my bedroom every few seconds. I don't know where it's coming from, but I do know it's driving me crazy, and it's impossible for me to ignore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 71

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 5 048

Same thing different taste

Gammon

Not my day, is it?

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