Health: Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal... - FML

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By ifpigsflew - 04/10/2010 23:31 - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 196

You deserved it 2 778

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Same thing different taste

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 356

You deserved it 34 744

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 274

You deserved it 6 093

By Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 718

You deserved it 13 716

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 955

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 4 304

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 426

You deserved it 13 461

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 802

You deserved it 818

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 734

You deserved it 349

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 006

You deserved it 32 372

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 005

You deserved it 7 979

Next

Top comments

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:13

Spider pig, spider pig......

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 5 October 2010 11:04

Unless Harry Potter attends.

Comments

Saluton 18

Tuesday 5 October 2010 15:07

This is horrendous. This is so frickin' humiliating to be scarred by a flying hunk of pig that I would commit suicide right then and there.

Ancarnia 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 15:53

sue them for assault with a pork product.

eller13469 2

Tuesday 5 October 2010 19:40

so pigs can fly

driftability 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 21:47

Should have taken the license numbers, hunt them down and dump pig blood all over their car. If blood isn't available use veg oil. Or you could just spend you time on something more constructive. :D

partychix246 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 21:59

omg ****

Niaa_fml 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 22:10

Salami is not pig, it's made from donkey. o.O

KidLightning 2

Wednesday 6 October 2010 0:59

HAHAHA. This made me laugh SO hard that I couldn't even tell the person I was Skyping what it was.

person4 1

Wednesday 6 October 2010 4:18

when I read this I thought Glamour Kills.

Ellistrae 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 5:52

You got popped by some pig in a drive-by porking!! :)

usedpunkgurl 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 6:39

hilarious!

wish369 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 6:58

just look on the bright side, awesome battle scars! :D

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You deserved it 3 734

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You deserved it 3 753