Work: Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife....

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 425

You deserved it 13 450

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Same thing different taste

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 985

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 989

By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 710

You deserved it 36 527

911 please

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 672

You deserved it 4 994

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 487

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 46 723

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 553

You deserved it 29 261

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 002

You deserved it 32 366

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 186

Iwannarock1 19

Sunday 30 October 2016 11:03

ummm, that was dumb.

Mangascribbler 19

Sunday 30 October 2016 11:11

You're a bleeding idiot, OP.

Comments

Iwannarock1 19

Sunday 30 October 2016 11:03

ummm, that was dumb.

Arashikage 18

Sunday 30 October 2016 11:06

Do you not know what a fly swatter is? Or a newspaper?

SquidApocalypse 9

Monday 31 October 2016 4:02

OP was not trying to kill the fly.

Shadowpartner 11

Monday 31 October 2016 6:05

Yeah, he was only trying to help the poor fly using a giant knife...

purple_duck88 6

Wednesday 2 November 2016 3:58

Clearly says he was waving it away

mareike 16

Sunday 30 October 2016 11:08

Sorry OP, but when I read that I had a bit of smirk. Hope you are okay.

Mangascribbler 19

Sunday 30 October 2016 11:11

You're a bleeding idiot, OP.

Mediusa 15

Sunday 30 October 2016 11:55

No way this could have happened to me! YDI

tounces7 27

Sunday 30 October 2016 21:14

I know WTF why did the YDI button go away for this one?

species4872 19

Sunday 30 October 2016 12:02

On your way for a Darwin Award.

ChrisssyChris 11

Sunday 30 October 2016 12:05

TCHTM, I'd use anything to swat away a fly.

species4872 19

Sunday 30 October 2016 12:15

Girl on spinning wheel hurriedly tries to untie herself as knife thrower prepares to throw second knife...

Jared900DUmpling 30

Sunday 30 October 2016 12:23

Next time aim for yourself, you might hit the fly.

greeniegenius 19

Sunday 30 October 2016 13:00

Did you get the fly though?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 118

You deserved it 3 775

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 720

You deserved it 50 109

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 958

You deserved it 2 059

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 984

You deserved it 3 144

Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 854

You deserved it 375

Today, while planning for my wedding, I can’t stop thinking about my ex. He is my "one", and it’s still so hard to move on. Now I’m marrying someone for stability for my kids, not love, and it is the worst feeling. My heart will forever be in Harrisonville Missouri. He deserves the world, not Texas rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 1 111

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 136

You deserved it 5 753

Same thing different taste

Put it away

911 please

Let it bleed

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