Health: Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal... - FML

By ifpigsflew - 04/10/2010 23:31 - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 2 777

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Same thing different taste

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 354

You deserved it 34 743

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 269

You deserved it 6 092

By Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 716

You deserved it 13 716

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 941

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 417

You deserved it 4 302

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 425

You deserved it 13 450

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 815

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 002

You deserved it 32 366

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 7 978

Next

Top comments

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:13

Spider pig, spider pig......

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 5 October 2010 11:04

Unless Harry Potter attends.

Comments

Rape_Laser 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:32

I'll throw my salami log at u

TheTigerRoars 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:37

Throw it at a cat and see how fast they tear it to shreds! :D -Fluffy McTiger

TheOriginalKyrs 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 10:12

cats like salami?

TheTigerRoars 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 10:17

'Cats' like 'meat'... -Fluffy McTiger

to3_tag 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 14:49

was going to say.... is that what those kids call it now adays?

allanjtwright 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:32

yeah, that happened, when pigs fly lol

queencitystoner 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:33

wanna know how I got these scars? lol

TheTigerRoars 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:38

From a flying log of Salami? Was it delicious? Or did you throw the log of Salami and you got the crap beat out of you? -Fluffy McTiger

xStiina 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:34

delicious.

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:40

Damn litterbugs!

flossybaben 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:58

lol u got hit by "babe"

flossybaben 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 10:01

spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does, can he swim from a web no he can't he's a PIG

EffinAhole 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 11:14

swim? uh no

flossybaben 0

Friday 8 October 2010 12:26

geese it's a mistake ********

molil_4810 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 10:43

SO...??

muffpuncher 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 11:56

it would be hilarious if youwere Muslim. you know how they're so taboo to the point if fear about pigs an stuff.

queencitystoner 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 12:14

actually Muslims believe cows are sacred, you are thinking of jews

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 5 October 2010 13:42

ma'as salami. |the kid|

Spastastic 6

Wednesday 6 October 2010 0:02

57 -- Actually, it's Hindus that consider cows sacred. Eating pork is traditionally forbidden for both Jews and Muslims.

TheNewGuy03 28

Wednesday 6 October 2010 0:36

spaz, thank you for saying what i was getting ready to say. :] i was also going to note questionable education levels, based on the way things were said... |the kid|

queencitystoner 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 12:44

lol oops my bad, oh well learn something new today

Rianebabe0502 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 12:00

lmfao xD that's funnehh

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 020

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 135

You deserved it 4 975

The Top

Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 382

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 472

You deserved it 427

Today, the seemingly normal guy I've been dating for a while told me he is a wolf spirit in a human body to bridge the gap of his ancestors and humans. What?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 185

Today, my husband bought a luxury soap that smells like lemons. Now, every time I wash my private parts in the shower, it smells like a special at Red Lobster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 154

You deserved it 963

Today, I had to use the bathroom when I woke up this morning. My cat was sitting in front of the toilet and absolutely refused to move. I seriously tried every humane way of getting her to move, but she didn't budge. I had to sit really awkwardly on the toilet to do my business. When I stood up, she moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 1 983

Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 4 817