Health: Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over... - FML

By Official_Person - 02/06/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 040

You deserved it 31 140

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 458

You deserved it 3 604

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 801

You deserved it 5 013

By Anonymous - 10/01/2015 13:45 - United States

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 797

You deserved it 3 446

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 10:17 - United States

Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 408

You deserved it 3 021

By singleagain - 24/08/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 425

You deserved it 3 519

By bride - 27/03/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 978

You deserved it 10 294

By thefailure - 02/08/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 165

You deserved it 16 711

Dude, seriously?

By mellielynnemily - 26/10/2014 22:46 - United States

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 746

You deserved it 4 440

Romantic gestures

By Anonymous - 11/06/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 156

You deserved it 4 483

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:25 - United States

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 206

You deserved it 8 741

Next

Top comments

Isamermaid 17

Thursday 3 June 2010 1:06

Aww. Either you're fat or he's wimpy. Good one....

Teyros 24

Friday 16 March 2012 18:30

Someone's a bi..*cough*

Comments

amandalovee 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 3:05

ditto, very..

draxmurray 1

Thursday 3 June 2010 3:21

cow

bonicr 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 3:27

I bet you posted because you two have the same dresses 62. Trying to act all cool like you didn't notice, haha. :)

Jim9349 10

Thursday 3 June 2010 3:32

**** cows.

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 3 June 2010 4:28

Erm... No thank you. I'll stick to women.

LilAfo 4

Thursday 3 June 2010 8:32

gd idea RPS :/

Primus_fml 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 3:37

What a surprise, another "I'm fat but didn't think I was previously so I'll look for sympathy on the Internet". These are getting really tiring and aren't funny anymore.

ppzh_08 4

Thursday 3 June 2010 3:43

Funnily enough, this just proves how boring or unattracted they are to eachother as they are on the wedding night and she is on FML rather then havin crazy non-stop love making!! Helloooo Divorce Lawyers!!!

GoPlayInTraffic 2

Thursday 3 June 2010 6:16

71 the FML doesn't say so, but the groom might still be standing in the doorway with a locked up back

ppzh_08 4

Thursday 3 June 2010 7:02

hahha tru that! lol at the locked back comment hehe

justj2010 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 4:01

he should have practiced. romantic moment fail- epic fail.

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 3 June 2010 4:25

Throw stereotypes to the wind and hit the gym so you can carry HIM over the threshold.

zomgwtfbbqbagel 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 4:27

haha that was the first thing I noticed XD

xamcavip 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 4:34

word but idk. either one of u got aim? ;)

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Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 715

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 610

You deserved it 7 742

Today, my ex of 2 months, who I'm on good terms with, posted an Instagram photo with her new boyfriend, captioned "Love you babe, 4 months have never been sweeter." I've never been good at math, but 4 seems bigger than 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 276

You deserved it 304

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 820

You deserved it 22 684

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 290

You deserved it 7 003

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 42 386

Today, I bought an iPhone SE, so my mom decided to sell my old iPhone 5 on Craigslist. Since the 5 and SE look exactly the same, she ended up selling my SE instead of the 5 for $100. The buyer refuses to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 030

You deserved it 2 122