Miscellaneous: Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out...

By satanlovesme - 30/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 849

You deserved it 8 351

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Same thing different taste

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 003

You deserved it 1 877

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 2 297

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 830

You deserved it 9 929

Take what you can get

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 164

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 8 150

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 45 740

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 539

You deserved it 3 085

Foot meet mouth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 458

You deserved it 7 828

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 2 729

SP63_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:45

Ugh. I was raised Christian, and always will be, but these kind of people are what gives Christians the names they have. Wouldn't it be great if there was a world where people could co-exist, and go about as they wish? I know many Athiests, Muslims, and even a few Buddhists. They're all nice people, I could care less about who they worship, or if they do at all. But then again, I've been excommunicated from my church, supposedly for these reasons. Oh well, who cares, I refuse to join a church that discriminates.

NoMercy_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:39

LOL. I didn't know Satan had a manual.

Comments

thuryn 2

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:18

A couple of you said that this was fake because a truly religious person would never say "bitch." Talk about a fallacy. Ever hear of the Crusades? Ever hear of cross burning or lynchings or honor killings or any other travesty perpetrated in the name of God? I grew up with some women who were *extremely* religious and yet they cursed like sailors. It doesn't make any sense, but there it is. Personally, I became a Muslim long ago for reasons which are not relevant here. Suffice it to say, there are hypocrites in every faith. 20 of them, for example, flew planes into buildings on the East Coast eight years ago. Never mind the fact that Islam considers suicide "self-murder" *sigh* I hate Cosmo, but I don't think you're going to hell for it, and I don't see much point in being nasty to you about it. Do get something better to read - like Consumer Reports or Time or somthing - and forget about that crazy woman. She's just upset because her Bible-thumping has driven everyone else away from her, so she's going to make sure that she has a plausible reason that she hates everyone. It's sad, but not your problem.

lilyluna_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:26

That's just funny. Your life is not ******. Your life is awesome. That's a great story. Tell it at all of your parties.

BaldOuting 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:30

haha agree with 53 - your life is not ******, but damn, that's an awesome story.

TheLittlestNinja 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:32

lol was the lady that said that fat and ugly?

lovely997 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:32

NUMBER 42- WHAT THE ****, GO READ MY COMMENT, it's NUMBER 29 ******* re

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:33

You're supposed to reply "fat chance, he already has you, he doesn't need to switch bitches any time soon". Of course, a fight might ensue, but I bet the look on their faces would be priceless. XD It's always weird when psycho people think they're behaving in a charitable and religious-friendly manner by attacking random people for no good reason. :-/ And #24, by threatening to take a shit on the bible, you have now lowered yourself to being as bad as the bible thumper. Double standards sucks. Respect goes both ways.

thelarkscaw 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:33

24 lmfao. i'm pm the same way.

skyoolie 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 4:34

this is kinda funny, but kinda sad i myself am a Christian, but that's juts hypocritical of her to say that (and btw i read Cosmo sometimes as well) I highly agree with 49 Jesus loved the sinners and those who did not believe but i do think this is pretty funny