Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 840

You deserved it 798 621

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 867

You deserved it 8 699

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 003

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 580

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 314

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 239

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 776

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 819

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

Ghostfire258 3

Sunday 6 June 2010 23:33

I hate Indians

emo_Onsterr 0

Monday 7 June 2010 5:58

don't worry! I'm ugly tooo. :/

fmam11 0

Monday 7 June 2010 7:38

don't be silly put a glove on willy

nina21194 12

Tuesday 8 June 2010 5:57

#1109 ur a ******* jackass I don't care if your responsable, you ******* said it and i feel bad for the woman you marry or are married to. or maybe your gay? in that case be a ******* man and grow a pair u ******* asshole! you know that can seriously injure a woman and damage her both phyisicaly and/or mentaly? ad for it 'not being your fault if a person does it' you put a ******* smoking gun in there hands and pretty much pulled the trigger. I hope you die jackass and for all the asses who agreed, your just as bad as him maybe worse because at least one of you will do it. And I hope you rot in prison. And get everything that happens to you in jail. You ******* asshole *I have no homophobia or hatred of gays. I was using a refrence point. I have gay friends.

nina21194 12

Tuesday 8 June 2010 6:07

#1109 ur a f*cking jackass I don't care if your responsable, you f*cking said it and i feel bad for the woman you marry or are married to. or maybe your gay? in that case be a f*cking man and grow a pair u f*cking asshole! you know that can seriously injure a woman and damage her both phyisicaly and/or mentaly? and for it 'not being your fault if an idiot does it' you put a f*cking smoking gun in there hands and pretty much pulled the trigger. I hope you die jackass as for the people who agreed to this comment your just as bad maybe worse because at least one will do it. *I'm not homophobic nor hate gays. I have gay friends, I was using this for point of refrence.