Work: Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a...

By E.S. - 23/10/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 179

You deserved it 40 974

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From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

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Same thing different taste

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 253

You deserved it 5 584

By American idol - 06/04/2011 06:19

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 611

You deserved it 36 964

Pretentious menus suck

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 02:00

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 551

Quel abruti

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 06:00

Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 1 192

By 1thapp3ns - 10/01/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 043

You deserved it 3 007

By hipthrustdude - 18/05/2009 12:04 - Malaysia

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 419

You deserved it 54 432

By Lizzie - 30/05/2013 22:32 - United States - Rockford

Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 473

You deserved it 53 317

Play 4′33″ by John Cage

By NonPianoMan - 26/08/2021 16:01

Today, after I'd told this girl I’m seeing that I play piano to impress her, it turns out her father is a pianist and has a grand piano in their house. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to her place to play her my "favorite piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 2 134

By torturedears - 05/04/2013 04:20 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 362

You deserved it 6 655

Gassy in 4/4

By nomwar - 17/06/2013 13:55 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 120

You deserved it 14 880

maundy 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:05

sorry OP, youre an idiot. but you made me laugh

perdix 29

Friday 23 October 2009 15:05

You should have gotten up and tipped the boom box.

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Friday 23 October 2009 17:16

did you yell loudly "Hercules Hercules, Hercules" while clapping?

Witchcraft_fml 4

Friday 23 October 2009 18:14

I hope you didn't whistle, also.

Hellsno 0

Friday 23 October 2009 19:44

hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaaaaaaa! Thanks for the laugh! I needed it today!

anniemarie 0

Friday 23 October 2009 20:04

you could of acting like you were kidding

honeyishrnkdakid 2

Friday 23 October 2009 21:03

That was hilarious! I literally lolled. thx :-)

Peroxide 3

Friday 23 October 2009 21:13

Is it fun using those safety scissors? Mabey one day u'll get ur pen licence.

watermind 0

Friday 23 October 2009 21:23

I was himself. And it sucked.

jane99 0

Friday 23 October 2009 21:33

That is why I am never the first person to clap.

watermind 0

Friday 23 October 2009 22:06

Oh god...

gotuxdaddy 0

Friday 23 October 2009 22:40

Haha what a tool.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 323

You deserved it 14 962

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 154

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 22 277

You deserved it 3 218

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 902

You deserved it 37 478

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 239

You deserved it 3 253

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I agree, your life sucks 4 347

You deserved it 582

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 608

You deserved it 31 356

Today, I woke up and got ready for class. I let the dogs outside while I got ready, then brought them back in. As I was putting my shoes on, I felt something warm and mushy. One of my dogs had pooped in my shoe right as I was leaving. I missed the city bus and was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 173