Health: Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I...

By John - 24/06/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 3 430

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Same thing different taste

By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00

Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 369

Bunged up

By P DarklyKira - 18/05/2020 23:00

Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 185

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 398

What a way to spend the day

By theark - 22/08/2022 10:00

Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 86

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 112

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 694

You deserved it 2 694

Full of it

By romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 563

Take deep breath…

By paininthe*ss - 13/02/2023 00:00

Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 127

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 776

You deserved it 4 421

By billiams15 - 06/05/2012 21:57 - United States - Katy

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 4 331

DocBastard 38

Friday 24 June 2011 16:16

I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 24 June 2011 16:10

Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)

Comments

cjgqsmooth 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:48

keep your chin up, shit happens man (no pun intended).

burned313 3

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:00

hey man, it sucks I know. If it makes you feel any better I had that all happen, including the camera in the roto-rooter AKA colonoscopy when I was 19. minus the hemorrhoids, I got something much worse.

crotzer 2

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:42

dude I'm 20 and have hemorrhoids, sux don't it?

Complaining 13

Saturday 25 June 2011 9:34

Your week sounds super fun. Good luck.

hairguitarhero 5

Saturday 25 June 2011 10:51

what what??!!

curlz2330 1

Saturday 25 June 2011 13:53

atleast it isn't ass cancer

InsanitySpews 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 14:39

I was seventeen when I had a colonoscopy/endoscopy done, so I think you're fine (besides the hemorrhoids part).

trinity333_fml 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 22:39

dude! that's nothing if your lucky they'll knock you out. I had a colonoscopy at the age of 16 and was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome. it's a life time of taking suppositories.